English | Chinese/Jamaican

Photo credit: provided by subject

I identify as Chinese, Jamaican. My Mother is Caucasian & originates from the UK and my Father was born in the UK and is Jamaican but also has Chinese roots. I think my Dad struggled to get my Mom to accept certain Jamaican customs & traditions, although she was happy to eat West Indian food & listen to music. When it came to religious participation this was something she struggled with.

While interracial marriage is perfectly acceptable to God, not all people share his view. I have been married for 16 years to my husband who is White & it's never once been an issue. We just see each other for who we are and that's it. I think back in my parents day it was definitely frowned upon more due to xenophobia in parts of the UK, especially in quiet communities. But despite that, I think now that interracial relationships are common and therefore not as much as an issue anymore, especially in modern day Britain which is very diverse. In my Grandparents generation things were very different and it was a different time during the Windrush. Immigration in UK was opposed by many and I believe this led to some erroneous views that Blacks should keep to their own race and not ‘intermingle’. My personal view is that it shouldn't even be an issue and it's sad that in this day and age it is an ongoing issue.

Unfortunately I have been on the receiving end of racial bullying in many different forms; in my early years & adulthood. Some blatant & some disingenuously, and from people who you expect better from. But these negative experiences only serve to fortify your self-worth in the face of uneducated xenophobic people. I have been fortunate enough to reconnect with close family members recently and learned valuable information regarding my ethnicity and after struggling with my identity for so long this has been a real blessing. When you are mixed-race, Alongside the unique pleasures and benefits of being exposed to multiple cultures, being mixed comes with complexities, conflicts and innate contradictions. For many, it’s about occupying two identities simultaneously, reconciling the differences and trying to carve out a space to exist between the two.

The mainstream understanding of being mixed-race most often refers to people who are White and Black Caribbean, or White and Black African. But the voices of the mixed-race diaspora extend far beyond this.

I have not yet visited all of my native countries, but a trip to Meizhou China, Hong Kong & the famous Hakka museum is on the bucket list!

I was lost for so long, bouncing between Black and White literally and figuratively. My upbringing was a predominantly British White working class one. I don’t speak Patwa or mandarin, only English. But I definitely feel knowing what I now know I connect more and resonate more with my Asian ancestry and feel personally it explains a lot of who I am, personal tastes & why I didn’t fully feel exclusively Jamaican British. Also admire my Grandmother’s tenacity in a time where to be mixed Chinese Jamaican heritage in Jamaica could have been potentially difficult for her, considering there was a lot of mixed attitudes towards the Chinese migrants who were new to the island.

I definitely feel at peace now, it’s taken 38 years of self-introspection but I believe now. The book is closed.

There are a few if not a handful of organisations dedicated to preserving the traditions of Chinese Jamaican Hakka people. One being the CBA Chinese benevolent association in Kingston. I would definitely welcome more, but I think the focus is on other ethnic issues right now and that's ok. But educationally & on a whole I think we are underrepresented in mainstream education, media exposure and just generally.

I manage with daily prayer, bible study, thinking of others takes my mind of my own worries & not expecting too much from myself during this time. I truly believe that if people looked into Gods word to learn how he views the human race the world would be a very different place because people would see Gods thinking on the matter. God is not partial so neither should man be. The Bible says: ‘He made out of one man every nation of men’. (Acts 17:26). Regardless of their race, all humans are part of just one family. It's a shame that people cannot recognize this.