British | Tanzanian

Photo credit: provided by subject

I identify as mixed-race (White British and black African), Catholic & heterosexual. My Mum is from London, England and my Dad is from Darasalam, Tanzania. They met on a night out, when my Mum was underage, and my Dad was a university student. They struggled to do this to be honest. There were many cultural differences and expectations from each of them. Eventually I was too tough, as a young couple with a baby to make it work and they split. However, both have done the best job of instilling both parts of my heritage in me.

My Mum has always championed my Blackness and encouraged me to embrace it. She would always go above and beyond to make sure my Dad and African side were not forgotten about, even though she was my primary carer. I have not consciously chosen friends & partners based on my cultural upbringing as I have never been told who I can or cannot date. However, subconsciously I don't know? I have only ever dated White men, but it's hard to decipher whether that is a 'type' or a preference? 

I always hid my natural, afro hair and my African middle name! Throughout school I would hide these parts of me away in attempts to conform with the 'norm' around me.

I think interracial relationships are the best type of relationship. I am the product of an interracial relationship and have learnt so much from that. I have 'the best of both worlds'. I myself am in an interracial relationship too, and always have been. Whether that is because I live in a predominantly White area, or out of my own inherent bias I'm not sure. 

I have faced many positives surrounding my Identity. In the area I'm from (Aberystwyth) there really is a lack of diversity. The majority are White, Welsh people and here I am, a Welsh born, half Tanzanian, half Londoner. My experience therefore has generally been that I have been used as a 'learning tool' in the sense that people have learned from me. Questions I would face daily are ‘can I touch your hair?’, ‘does your skin tan in the sun too?’. The list goes on. 

I have visited Tanzania once as a baby, so to be honest I have no recollection. I am lucky enough to be visited by my African relatives almost every year though so I am very aware and invested in my culture. On the flip side, I obviously live in the UK so I'm very proud of that culture too. I identify as British fully and love all that that brings. 

As a child I really struggled with being mixed. I felt out of place as I rarely saw reflections of me in the media, story books or around me day to day! Now however, I fully embrace my crazy hair and middle name. I love my differences as they make me stand out. I am a Uni student at Cardiff university so there is definitely more diversity there than I was used to in Aberystwyth. They definitely consider all elements of inclusivity.

If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would like to return as the opposite to what I am now, as I could then experience life through completely different eyes. The most opposite thing to me would probably be a White male, from a different country/ culture than the UK. So, I guess I'm coming back as a White man just to see how different it would be.