British/Australian | South Indian

Photo credit: provided by subject

I am South Indian & British/Australian, I have Australian nationality. 

My Father is South Indian & my Mum is half British/half Australian. My parents met in London in their very early twenties. Neither of them had much but they got married and soon after had my older sister. They all lived together in a one bedroom flat in London before travelling to Australia where my older brother was born, then travelling back to London where I was born, then travelling back to Australia where they stayed, and my two younger brothers were born!

I feel I've definitely grown up with a mix of my parents' cultures, however I feel I identify more with Western Culture/my Mums side due to growing up in Australia and being far away from my Dad’s family. Food wise we eat Indian cuisine every day at home since I was born! My Mum adapted to the dishes and spices and it's always my favourite cuisine to eat. I grew up with Bollywood Films and Hollywood films which was fun. I only speak English as my Dad stopped teaching us his language growing up, I totally wish he taught us now as it would be such a great thing to be bilingual! 

Something that I often dealt with was that my Mum was always the more lenient parent, whereas my Dad was always a lot stricter. It was an interesting contrast, if I wanted to go out or stay at a friend's house when I was young I would always ask my Mum and hope my Dad didn't find out!

I realised after high school when I'd gotten to find myself more and appreciate and understand my identity, that whoever I dated needed to be understanding and open minded to different cultures. My mixed background is a huge part of who I am and if anyone were to be ignorant or unopen to learning about that, I don't believe I could click with them. My family is also super important to me and I'd want someone who respects them. 

I am currently in a relationship with my boyfriend of three years now; he is Australian by nationality like me, but he is of Chinese background. It's been really sweet the parts of our cultures that we can relate to, for example our strict parents with very strong work ethics who aren't used to giving a lot of hugs and saying, ‘I love you’. What I love most about being with my boyfriend is that he's helped me to grow to love and be proud of the Indian side of me and appreciate it, as growing up in Queensland it was something I was almost embarrassed of or wanted to push away.

I grew up in Queensland, Australia which although in Primary School was more ethnically mixed, my high school was very Caucasian. And high school is where kids start to figure out who they are, form groups, choose friends etc. Although I was mixed-race, people there viewed me as ‘fully Indian’ and that was something that wasn't viewed as a desirable thing. I was bracketed in with all the other fully, much darker skinned Indian people (which wasn’t many). My entire friendship group was White, and a lot of people were very ignorant to other cultures. I often felt embarrassed to be who I was and tried to ignore the fact I was half Indian. Which wasn’t easy as my skin was a tad darker than the ‘passable’ skin tone. I guess people ignored the Caucasian side of me so strongly that I wanted nothing more than to show/prove that side. 

I absolutely love to see interracial couples and especially mixed-race children! It makes me so happy because to me it means that those people are open minded and treat all colours/cultures equally; as all people should because we are all human! I know my grandparents generation was very different sadly, and some people probably still view interracial relationships negatively. I'm proud to say my Caucasian Grandma was never like that, even back then! My Caucasian Grandpa was a bit of that mindset back then and actually told my Father ‘these interracial relationships don't work’, after he married my Mum. However once we were all born I know my Grandfather changed his mind and he had nothing but love for all of us.

It's always challenging when I meet a non-mixed-race person as many think you have to ‘choose the side’ you look most like and ignore the other side. It just doesn't feel right to do so though because I love and value both my parents equally and I am exactly 50% of both! Thankfully I've grown to love who I am, and I love the fact that I have this blend of cultures and this different look, it makes me feel very unique, which I love.

The only time I visited India was for my Aunty's wedding when I was 10. It was a very different place and culture to what I was used to, but it was wonderful to be there with that side of the family and witness the beauty that was there. I definitely would love to go back and travel around more when I can afford it. I'd also love to go back to London when I can and see how I feel!

Honestly I've mostly always identified with being exactly what I am; which is mixed. It was only in high school when people ignored half my background that I felt the need to prove myself and sort of reject the side they kept focusing on. Now I've learned who I am as a person and really found myself, and since dating my boyfriend I've learned that I can find my balance between both cultures and it can be accepted. I don't have to pick a side; I can be exactly who I am. Whether other people want to accept that or not. I know my future kids will be mixed too and want to be a positive role model for them to understand themselves as mixed-race children and not feel pressured to ignore any part of their identity.

I am an Actor and something I've noticed time and time again is that there is no category/box for a mixed-race actor (in Australia). You always are told to pick the side that you look most like and go with that. On the flip side I've noticed that when they want a diverse applicant in a film or commercial, someone that has to be e.g.: Indian, East Asian, African; they often always choose someone who is mixed. For example a half Asian/half Caucasian person. The industry definitely needs to change to accept actors of all different backgrounds for roles and stop putting labels on things.

If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would return exactly as I am! I love who I am, and I love my background. The only thing that's caused me to wish otherwise has been listening to people's opinions and/or not feeling good enough, desired or not being able to fit in. But as you grow and learn you'll find who you are and you'll find other people who accept you, maybe even other people who share your experience. Thank you to Mixedracefaces for creating this platform for the mixed-race community! I feel like we often get left out of things and have to find our way into groups that reflect only half of who we are. I know the future is very mixed, so this is so important!