African American/Unknown | Mexican

Photo credit: provided by subject

My Mother is African-American (1/4 Caucasian). My Father is Mexican American. They met at an office party. They did not choose to stay together. Race may have played a very minor role in that, but ultimately, they just weren’t right for each other. Since I was raised with the Black side of my family, it was ingrained that I ‘must marry a Black man’. I heard everything from, ‘it’ll make things easier - culture-wise, blah, blah’, but I found in time that I had to look for WHO made me happy. Regardless of what colour, race, ethnicity my partner happens to be, I need someone who values and respects me above all else. If that person can do that, it does not matter what race they are.

Parts of my family shamed or out-right used derogatory terms to refer to me being Latina/Mexican. My Mother was so pro-Black, and took personal offence, if I didn’t say I was Black above anything else. So not exactly hidden but I get very limited in identifying all of me. Now I tell people, including my family, that I embrace all of me. I would not be ME without one or the other, so it is not fair to try to influence or shame a child about something that they have no control over to begin with.

I think compared to my Mother's generation, the time I was born (1980’s), to the current time, there’s been huge progress with acceptance. I think back in my parent’s generation it was taboo, if not completely unacceptable, to openly interracially date, especially in the conservative area of Texas where I’m from. And not to mention, my Grandparents era, Jim Crow, it was happening but no one talked about it even though there were people that were visibly mixed or interracially dating. For example, my Grandmother was black and my Grandfather was half Black/half White. However, he could pass as a White man, most of the community thought he was. 

My family was treated with open shaming, rude/intrusive questions, and even being violated due to the perception that my Grandparents were interracially dating despite him identifying as a Black man. My Mother still has a hang-up over the colour of her eyes (her eyes are hazelish-green) because of the harassment, bullying and shaming they received as a family. Today, no one bats an eye when you see an interracial couple, family or children. No one gives me dirty looks or asks intrusive questions (as often). It’s progress but it’s not like it hasn’t happened throughout history; it’s just become more openly acceptable by society.

I’ve always been grounded in the Black community, and for a while, the forefront of my identity was as a Black woman. And I still am. However, it took me a long time to reconcile embracing my Mexican heritage. More so because I felt unaccepted by the Mexican community due to lack of knowledge about the culture as well as the wrong belief that my Mexican family wanted nothing to do with me. Or, if I stated my Dad was Mexican, other Mexicans either had really positive reactions or really negative ones, even to the point of claiming, ‘well, you don’t look Mexican - there’s no way’. The positive reaction reaffirmed me. Then, contact with a cousin and Uncle on my Dad's side of the family grounded me a bit further in knowing who I am, to be proud of my heritage. I think exposure and acceptance from others plays a large role, no matter how minuscule the action.

I have been to Mexico and have enjoyed the people. Then again, I live in an area of Texas heavily populated with a Mexican community, stores, events, so I have enough exposure through where I stay to learn about my culture. If I can one day, I’d love to visit Africa. I took a DNA test that started most of my African ancestry lies in Nigeria, so I’d love to step foot back in the homeland and just see where I can from. 

There’s African stores here in Dallas-Fort Worth but I don’t know many people within the Nigerian community to learn more about my culture, even though I want to. It’s always evolving. It has from when I was a kid to now as an adult. As a kid, you grow up initially with no concept of race. That’s the purity I miss. Then the questions come, the looks when I’m out with family members who may look differently than I do, etc. I’ll never be ashamed of who I am. And with the rate the world is going, I see so many mixed families and kids. It makes me very happy because I grew up in a time where attitudes were harsh and I was treated badly by my own (Blacks and Mexicans) due to the belief that I shouldn’t exist. But regardless of what anyone thinks, we are here and it looks like we (mixed people) are going to keep coming.

I work in a majority Black workplace, which I love. It makes me feel comfortable. I feel that there have been inappropriate remarks or jokes due to someone’s ignorance but my workplace does a pretty good job of not tolerating any abusive, even unintentional, racist, sexist, ageist, homophobic or transphobic, ableist language. 

I don’t wish to be reborn. Maybe my essence, or spirit will ‘recycle’, I hope my spirit is able to provide some goodness back when needed. Thank you for this opportunity and what you do!