Hong Kong Chinese/Filipino/Spanish | American
I encountered a lot of misconceptions about being mixed-race, despite there being a strong historical tradition of Eurasians in Hong Kong, and encountered some anti-semitism from ignorant classmates, which I didn't understand since I didn't know much about Jewish history and I didn't feel particularly Jewish. Being White/mixed-race also comes with a specific set of privileges in Hong Kong which impacted my identity. Coming from an interfaith Jewish-Catholic family, we went to synagogue and church at different times growing up, and my parents always emphasised the similarities between the two religions. We celebrated Chinese, Jewish, Filipino and American holidays and I was excited to have Christmas and Hanukkah in December.
My sisters, Mom and maternal Grandmother are also mixed-race, so there was a certain set of shared experiences that was comforting. I thought it was really normal to have so many languages and cultural experiences within one family. Although growing up I didn't have any inherent internal conflicts around being mixed-race, having a very intersectional identity did mean that I felt, and feel, like an outsider constantly. It's hard to be mixed while working as an actor because it is an industry that works very much within the parameters of ‘you are what you look like’, and it seems like sometimes I am too Asian and other times I am not Asian enough for certain roles. I've countered this by writing my own material and creating my own roles. I had a very jarring experience with an acting agent who was puzzled by my identity. The whole conversation left me feeling icky and he didn't know how to talk about or what to do with my disabled identity. I just felt like a racialised commodity to him. It often feels like my ethnicity, queerness and disability are invisible, and people can react in some really unsettling ways when they can't fit you into their box.
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