Nigerian | English
Growing up mixed-race in Nigeria is a very different experience. As a post-colonial country, Nigerian society still struggles with the glorification of Whiteness, lighter skin and looser hair texture. As young as the age of 5, I noticed that teachers gave me and fellow mixed-race school mates preferential treatment. I was always complimented for my skin colour and hair texture, people openly saying that they were jealous and that they wished they had my skin and hair. It was quite an isolating experience and I think it made me very hyper aware of my difference. A lot of the time I found myself trying to prove that I was Nigerian. People were usually surprised by my Nigerian name or the way I spoke, with the usual responses following such as ‘you don’t look Nigerian’ or ‘you cannot be Nigerian’. Many people would even assume that my Mum was my friend or sister, confused that a dark skinned woman can have a light skinned child. Although there are many of us mixed-race people in Nigeria, the concept of us still seems to be somewhat of a phenomenon at times.
I started going to a predominantly White boarding school in Cambridge when I was 16. Although I was connected to my White, English identity from growing up with my English Father and visiting England multiple times a year, it was very difficult to feel like I belonged as an English person. I was labelled as just ‘Nigerian’ and I was treated as an international student who was not accustomed to British culture. People would be surprised by my knowledge of the Cambridge area and also my accent. Although I grew up in Nigeria and had a Nigerian accent, I have been able to code-switch and adjust my accent with both sides of my family. Essentially, I always found myself explaining how I was also English. It was a very isolating experience because I accepted my English identity, but I was not accepted as English by my English peers. In the end, I had to understand that people’s perception of my identity and who I am does not change it. As long as I know that I am both Nigerian and English, both Black and White, that’s all that matters.
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