Jamaican/Irish | Indian/Irish
When my first niece was born, I had great fun shopping for diverse toys she could play with as soon as she was old enough, feeling a quiet pride whenever I found dolls that looked like me or my sisters, with light-brown skin and dark curly hair. To my dismay, my niece was never really interested in them. She always preferred the dolls with blonde hair and green eyes, dolls who looked like her. I totally get it. That’s what all children want in some way. I remember my own childhood, all the arguments I had with my big sister over whose turn it was to play with our one and only mixed-race Barbie, a rare find in the 90s. Looking back, I realise I wasn’t just buying those dolls for my niece. I was fulfilling my own childhood fantasy of being seen, represented, like every other kid seemed to be.
Sometimes I wonder if passing on our cultural heritage will be a bit like those dolls I bought for my niece: a curiosity laying half-forgotten at the bottom of the toy box. It is what it is though, and I'm still determined to do my best to help teach my nieces and nephew about their special cultural heritage.
As mixed-race people, we often feel pressure to prove that our connection to each of our cultures is deep and authentic, especially when we start thinking about how to pass those cultures on to the next generation. It can feel like each culture needs to be carefully preserved and cultivated with precision and respect, like little bonsai trees of Jamaican, Indian, or Irish culture. However, in my experience, culture doesn’t work like that. My identity has never had neat boundaries. It’s a tangle of vines; a messy, living chimera. At times, I’ve felt self-conscious about that, like my limited knowledge and many cultural faux pas were blasphemous and somehow made me less worthy of claiming or championing those roots.
The truth is: cultures evolve. The Jamaican culture of my ancestors is vastly different from the West African cultures of their ancestors, but that doesn’t make it any less meaningful or valid. The same goes for the unique blend I carry.
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