British-Jamaican | Filipino

I am half Filipina/half British-Jamaican woman born and raised in Queens, New York. My Mother is from the Philippines. My Father is of Jamaica heritage and was raised in London. They met in a photography class in Saudi Arabia (I know, it sounds like a movie, but it’s true!). My parents both love to travel and learn about other people’s cultures, so combining their cultures, I think, was enjoyable for them. My Dad knows how to cook Filipino food and my Mom loves visiting London. They did a really nice job of holding on to the culture they grew up in while taking on the culture of each other. 

One challenge in being mixed-race is not outwardly looking mixed-race (to some people). I was raised very Filipino and I felt very connected to the culture but because I don’t look half Asian to most people, I feel like I’m constantly defending my mixed ethnicity. People often say, ‘oh I forgot you were half Asian’, which does bother me. It feels like erasing half my identity. One of the most frustrating challenges are the way people use my race to justify parts of my life. I’ve been told several times that ‘my Asian side’ is the reason I was a math major. Anytime I do anything academic or smart it’s been attributed to my Asian side. I’ve been told ‘the reason I’m pretty’ is because I’m half Asian. The systematic racism put in place to make our society, consciously and subconsciously, think less of Black people is always prevalent when people attribute any of my accomplishments to be half Asian. On the other hand, because of not looking outwardly Asian, people can be racist towards Asians around me.  

I’m happy with the mistakes and triumphs that shaped me to be this human who I am and I would not change any of that. However, in the vein of being mixed, I do wish I looked more like my mix (think: Tiger Woods) so if I had to be honest, I would want to look more Filipino/ more mixed - without sacrificing any of my Blackness if that was possible. And if we’re wishing for things, I’d also want to be able to teleport and talk to animals. 

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