English | Jamaican

I identify as half Jamaican & half White. I have no religion & a heterosexual. My is Mum from Cumbria in England and my Dad is from Kingston in Jamaica. They met at a party in London. My Dad showed my Mum how to cook West Indian food and they hung out with other mixed-race couples. Mum was a big fan of Jamaican culture and they’d spend a lot of time in Notting Hill and Dalston where there were a lot of other Jamaicans. They also threw Blue’s parties in the basement of their house in Islington. It was obviously very hard for my parents, and when I was in a mixed-race relationship in the 80s it was also tough. I was spat at in the street for being with a White man. Nowadays It feels much more in the mainstream but there are still a lot of people who don’t approve of it. I don’t feel I have culture so it doesn’t affect how I choose partners. I’m attracted to who I’m attracted to. 

I feel like I was positively discriminated against when I applied to get into art college and that’s why I got in. Some people might see that as a negative but at the time I took whatever I could get. I don’t feel like I fit in with Black or White people. I’ve never really felt like I belong anywhere. I was racially abused in Jamaica when I was a child for being mixed-race and I was racially abused in England so neither felt like home. When I was young living with my Mum and Dad I felt very connected to my Black culture but when they split up and we moved back to England I feel like I lost that connection and things became a lot more White. I’ve been back to Jamaica a few times to reconnect with my Dad and my Grandad (they have both died now). I did feel more relaxed there as an adult, and that my personality fitted in more but there was still something alienating about it. I’ve always been happy with who I am but hated the racial abuse and being perceived as different. But I’ve never wanted to change the way I look. 

If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would still return as mixed-race but super rich 😊

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