German | Somali
In my previous job a new Manager couldn’t help themselves, commenting on my appearance. Despite them having migrated to the UK, prejudice and stereotypes seemed to be foreign concepts to them. Ironically, they were from the country that occupied Somalia in the 19th century, now they occupied my work space. They would also hug me and my colleagues, seemingly to make up for their behaviour. A hug is not an act of kindness if it’s forced upon you. I decided to not go back until appropriate action by the employer was taken, who reassured me that they would not condone racism. I have not been back since. This triggered so many memories that suddenly surfaced, which took a toll on my mental health. Sometimes I think this happened for a reason, as it really confronted me with some unresolved issues with my identity. Talking more openly about how this has made me feel with those close to me, I now feel more grounded.
Growing up in Germany and Switzerland I was usually perceived or racialized as Black. This felt alienating and confusing, because I didn’t have a clear understanding of the concept of race. Although I had friends who were accepting, now living in London it’s the first time that I feel like I belong. Someone at school even once referred to me as African American. We grew up in the same town that is over 6000 km away from the US. I think it shows how unthoughtful words around identity are used and how far removed from reality this can be. Views and narratives on race continue to exist even though they are outdated. A friend recommended a book to me called ‘How to argue with a racist’ by Adam Rutherford, which breaks down myths about race from a scientific point of view.
Growing up I was not familiar with the term mixed-race. I did however think of myself as half German and half Somali, but that’s not really how I view myself anymore. We are our whole selves and not a pie chart of nationalities. I am fully German as much as I am fully Somali.
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