English/Scottish | St Lucian/Trinidadian
My Mother is English, from a working-class family. Her great grandparents on her Father’s side were Scottish. My Father is Black Caribbean. He was born in St Lucia to a father who was Trinidadian. When my Father was young his parents emigrated to Ghana. He was sent to England when he was about 5 years old in the late 1920’s. He then lived and grew up with a guardian in Bolton, a Black Trinidadian GP. My Father graduated as a doctor from Manchester University. He met my Mother, who was a nurse, when they were both working at a hospital in Stockport.
I think being mixed-race has given me more of a ‘world’ view. We went to live in Jamaica, on the university campus in Kingston, when I was 9 and I lived there until I was 18. Being in the West Indies was an eye opener. It was the first time I had seen so many people in various shades of Black and Brown. It was also where I realised that to be intelligent, ambitious, and Black was quite normal, something that might have not been so easy if we’d stayed in the UK. In Jamaica I felt alien at first. My parents experienced culture shock and insisted on us being ‘English’. Which meant keeping our English accents and attitudes. I was teased at school because of my accent. I think my Father had hoped that by going to live in Jamaica he would find his ‘people’. But in reality, he was a foreigner who was thoroughly anglicised. My Father was regarded by some people as a ‘coconut’, i.e. Brown outside but White within.
I feel English. Although I loved living in Jamaica I never felt at home there. The food was exciting; Jamaican patties; curry goat; rice and peas; Jamaican Christmas cake; and lots of lovely fruit. I love bright colours, whether I gained that from living there, or whether I would have anyway, I don’t know. I visited Ghana one year ago. It was very interesting, but I didn’t feel a deep connection. My DNA suggests that my slave ancestors came from what is now Benin, but the African connection feels so long ago.
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