English | Nigerian
My parents divorced when I was young which in my opinion impacted upon the combining of cultures. Although they both raised my brother and I, ultimately, I lived with my Mum, so we have a closer connection. My Mother has been a consistent role model for me, instilling in me the confidence to focus on my personal journey and to not let comparison steal my joy.
The perception of mixed heritage from others raises challenges in my experience. A moment that has stuck in my mind is a parent’s evening at secondary school where my teacher just had a look of surprise on her face as my Mother and I walked over to her for the meeting. I always remember how uncomfortable it made me feel as my Mum and I walked away. Conversations that I have had with people after telling them that I am of mixed heritage has often led to my identity being challenged by others. People have tended to question mixed heritage and over time, I started to gauge the kind of questions that would be asked, usually the presumption that you have to pick a side as a mixed person.
As a child, my experiences outside of the home that influenced how I felt as a person of mixed heritage, I had a very limited understanding of mixed heritage outside of my own background in terms of being mixed from a Black and White background. As I grew up noticing mixed-race women in the media, there was Alicia Keys, Rachel Yankey and Ms Dynamite who I felt ‘looked like me’ and there was some representation. The representation in the media made me feel that I looked mixed-race, if that makes sense. However, my outlook now on being mixed is not as surface as an adult in terms of my appearance and as society integrates further, there is no mixed-race look. As an adult, I’ve learned that being of mixed heritage allows me a freedom to express myself how I wish from the foundation of my childhood. Although, there is an expectation from others that as a person of mixed heritage, you have to ‘pick a side’ so that they can treat you according to those cultural expectations.
Sign up to Patreon or Subscribe to our website to read more