British | Thai
I really minimised my dual heritage, I wanted to be 'British'. I was bullied for the colour of my skin, I hated the 'where are you from?' question I would get so frequently. It's only more recently I have felt proud of my heritage. In London, my chosen home, where I have lived for 14 years now, there is a lot of diversity. This makes me feel truly at home. In terms of my queerness, I code switch literally all of the time. Particularly in work settings or when meeting new people. I guess it makes my life easier and through old insecurities you never know when it's safe to be fully yourself. Things have gotten easier for the LGBTQ+ community on some levels but on a lot of levels a lot of improvement is needed. I feel even in sharing all of this I am 'outing' myself a bit.
I have a bit of a patchwork culture honestly. Growing up in Kent, with my White British Dad and Nan, and then having no link to Thailand via my Mum, I've always felt a bit rootless. But through my work I have gotten to travel the world and have friends from all over, which I think has influenced who I am today.
I feel blessed to be able to access different perspectives. With my queer identity, the question of marriage, kids etc and any 'traditional' life path has never been an option I saw for myself. Because that path was closed, it meant I was unable to blindly travel. I have had to choose my own path, and question roles, traditions and expectations. I want to forge my own way that is right for me. Unfortunately it can often mean I lack role models, and I see a lot of people living in ways that I can accept would never work for me. But this is a kind of freedom I am grateful for. It also means the community and people I have taken as my 'chosen family' have a bond that is deep and beautiful. In terms of my racial identity, now I am more comfortable in my own skin. I see it as a wonderful history and side of myself to explore. I am lucky for that and I am happy I have reached this place, as it hasn't always been easy.
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