British | Filipino
Unfortunately my Mum and Dad had a very volatile and destructive relationship, which reached its crescendo during lockdown. We (my brother and I) had to step in to remove my Mum from the situation and rehabilitate her. This included helping her with legal and financial action, selling the family house, as well as her living with me so she had a safe space to find and rebuild herself. I managed this by breaking down my Mum's Asian pride of hiding emotions or vulnerability. She's the Matriarch, she couldn't show she was struggling. She's now doing better than ever. There have been some hiccups but it's awesome seeing her learning a new life, similar to what I did when I went to university and moved to China, Spain and London. I learnt it's never too late to say no and change your life.
I identify as heterosexual, but there has always been a part of me that thought I was bisexual, or not necessarily a ‘woman’. Thankfully with the education of gender fluidity, I've been able to understand myself a little more and why I feel different. I still identify as She/Her, but I don't feel this pressure to fit the idealism of ‘femme’. I started this journey by cutting off my long hair into a short pixie last year and wearing more gender neutral clothing.
Growing up, I wanted to be as White as I could. Thankfully, the emo phase allowed me to integrate with other teens via a different avenue. I have always had this big question, ‘who am I?’, a hum of imposter syndrome. As I've become an adult, especially in my late 20s and visiting Manila/South East Asia, I have fully embraced my Pinay side. It especially helps that my partner is London-born Chinese/Mauritian, so we have this mutual interest in exploring our cultures.
I find this inability to put me in a box has been the foundation of a lot of challenges or bizarre interactions I've faced. Some positives have been that I haven't really faced adversity or exclusion aggressively. My circle is very accepting and curious, so I haven't felt like an outcast for my background.
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