British | Chinese
I identify as mixed-race; East Asian and European. My Mum is from the UK and grew up on a farm in the rural Essex Suffolk border. My Dad was born near Canton (now called Guangzhou) in South China and moved to Hong Kong with his family when he was young to escape the difficulties with the Chinese government and the rise of the Communist party. Dad moved to the UK in the 60's with some of his siblings, to work in Chinese restaurants.
Unfortunately, when I was growing up, my Mum was mistreated for marrying a foreigner, and I even never felt accepted by my Dad and some of my Chinese family. I was very aware even as a very young child, I looked different and didn't fit in with my Chinese relatives.
Combining cultures was something my Mum encouraged, but my brothers and I were kept quite separate from the Chinese side of the family. My Dad did not speak to us in Cantonese, and at family gatherings like New Year, we didn't understand conversations, and we were treated differently and sometimes had to sit on separate tables. Even at an early age, I understood how isolating being different could be and all the doubts that it brings. It was hard to observe how differently my Chinese cousins were treated by their parents. At home with my Mum and brothers or Grandparents was the only place I felt genuinely accepted until I started to make close bonds with friends at school. Even then, I never felt as good as my blonde blue-eyed schoolmates.
The Asian stereotype is a strong one, and I've differently fallen foul of it a few times. The assumption I'm a grade A nerd when academic subjects at school were a real struggle. As I wasn't very academic and didn't want to become an accountant or doctor, my Dad took very little interest in my education. When people find out I'm half Chinese, I'm always asked if I can speak the language. Every time I say no, I feel like a failure or like I'm not legitimately part of that culture. It also reminds me of all the things I've missed out on, especially when visiting Hong Kong and not being able to communicate with my relatives.
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