Belgian/Portuguese | Iranian
My Mum comes from Iran and my Dad’s Father is Portuguese and his Mother is Belgian (classic European mix from the 70’s). I am definitely an atheist although not the proselyte type. If I believe in one thing it’s facts, science, material proofs. It doesn’t mean I am not spiritual but I like to think we are the agents of this world and it’s in our power to do something. Religions are beautiful guides to living together, but I find it hard to believe in anything.
I think I am bisexual. That’s not something I say often because the first girl I loved bashed me in front of my whole school, so I’ve mostly stuck to men. But I know I love people regardless of their genders. I fall in love with their brains.
I don’t think my culture has had an effect on the way I choose partners, I think it’s about the way you relate to people. It’s not a conscious choice as a feminist with a mixed background and a complicated sexuality. There’s one thing for sure: I bond over food. I find it really hard to cope with people who just can’t handle spices and are not interested in tasting new things.
I think being in an interracial relationship today is way easier. Obviously racism is still rampant and inter-faith unions are still really hard. My former partner was visiting his Grandparents once and I told him it was maybe time to tell them I existed, and he agreed. When he came back from visiting them, he told me he couldn’t get around to explaining my whole mix and had just said I am French (partly true, I feel French in a lot of ways and that’s the country I was living in at the time). His Grandma had answered, ‘pffff, a foreigner’.
Obviously you get the occasional racism. As a kid I was bullied for being an ‘Arab’. I learned very early how to forgive and move on. I compartmentalise everything now. I put experiences in boxes and store them away with a label to remember why I moved on, and why I shouldn’t stay stuck on this. It’s also challenging to feel like you’re never whole, never enough. I guess that’s very personal but I always feel guilty for not being Iranian enough or Portuguese enough.
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