American (with African, Polish and Dutch origins)
I didn’t meet my biological Father, or even know what he looked like until I found him at the age of 25. My Mom is a White woman who had 4 Black biracial children, and in many ways was ostracized by her family and society. From a young age, my Mother told me my biological Father didn't want his family to know he had a baby with a White woman. She married my Step-Dad, who is Black, when I was 5. They tried their best to create a cohesive family unit and encouraged us to tell people he was our biological Father to avoid the social stigma of us each having different Fathers. My Step-Dad abused my older brothers and I, which caused a huge rift in our immediate family. My maternal grandparents' house was a haven for us growing up. They supported us in times of need and never made us feel unloved or racially different.
I learned my paternal Black relatives are originally from Louisiana, where I coincidentally spent many summers. I plan to visit New Orleans in the next year or so and hope to find out more information about my ancestry. I'm not sure I could say I'm ‘closer’ to one part of my culture than the other because I'm from the South. In that region of the U.S., you may be of a different race, but we're all culturally Southerners. I grew up in what I guess would be considered economically as lower-middle-class, turned middle-class home with an interracial family, so social justice issues have always been apparent and important to me.
We all live in multitudes. Don't allow anyone to tell you who you are or make your appearance the topic of every conversation; it dulls the mind and makes for shallow connections. When you are lonely, lean on your passions. When you're lost, remember your values and search for inspiration. In recent years, I've admired artist and Black feminist Lorraine O'Grady. She's done so much in her lifetime and didn't even become a visual artist until her 40s. Her journey is inspiring, and I resonate with the critical and compassionate lens through which she examines the world.
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