Welsh | Sierra Leonean
I would identify myself as mixed-race (Welsh/British and Sierra Leonean), atheist and heterosexual. I was born and grew up in Aberystwyth, a small seaside town in Wales, lacking ethnic diversity. I left home at 18 to study Psychology in Bath, which also lacks ethnic diversity. I didn’t give much thought into being mixed-race growing up. I still find it hard to reflect on my mixed-race identity. I don’t feel like I fully fit into a White Welsh/British or Black Sierra Leonean category, I just feel like me. I think I find it hard to fully identify with either side because I don’t fit into a ‘White’ or ‘Black’ stereotype. If I had to choose, I would say I feel a stronger connection with my Welsh/British side and I believe this is largely due to growing up in the U.K.
My Mum is from Freetown, Sierra Leone and my Dad from Aberystwyth, Wales. My Mum’s Aunty married a man who lived in Aberystwyth. When her Aunty passed away in 1993, my Mum came from Sierra Leone to Aberystwyth to support her two younger cousins. A few months after arriving in Aberystwyth my Mum and Dad met in a pub, after my Dad asked her to dance. They soon got married and I was born, followed by my two brothers and adopted sister. I don’t remember any challenges between my parents in combining their cultures, what stands out to me is their parenting styles. My Mum is the main breadwinner of the family and she worked long hours throughout my childhood while my Dad took care of me, my siblings and housework. My Mum is also the strict one and has always encouraged me and my siblings to work hard at school and be ambitious in life. My Dad in comparison was more laid back. My Mum really ingrained in us how lucky we are to have good educational opportunities in the U.K. I credit my ambition and drive to her work ethic and parenting, which I believe stems from her own upbringing in Sierra Leone and the lack of opportunity she had.
I think interracial relationships are great; they encourage open mindedness and give people better perspectives on different cultures. My boyfriend is Slovenian and I find it so cool being able to share our cultural backgrounds. Spending almost every day with your partner and learning about their background and identity is probably the closest way you can get a feel for somebody else’s experiences. My boyfriend has been able to get an insight into my very different experience of being a mixed-race woman compared to his of being a White man. Unfortunately there is still stigma around interracial relationships; even in London people sometimes stare when I’m with my boyfriend. Thinking about this though, I’m also guilty of looking at interracial couples, but more curiously because I love to see them! So perhaps not all of the stares I receive are prejudiced.
I don’t think my culture affects the way I choose my partner, but my mum always emphasized the importance of finding a loving and caring partner, who is ambitious and will be able to help provide and set an example for my future family. Again, I think this stems from her own experiences of poverty growing up in Sierra Leone. It’s unique that I’ve been brought up by parents from two completely different cultural backgrounds. I’m grateful that I am able to identify with both and I feel that this gives me a richer perspective on life.
I’m fortunate that I didn’t experience many challenges regarding my ethnicity during my childhood and teens. I feel grateful to have grown up in, what I believe to be, an open minded and accepting town. University didn’t come with any overt ethnic challenges either. Perhaps I didn’t notice because I identified more as Welsh/British and didn’t feel like a minority inside. I experienced racism once when some drunk White men shouted racial slurs about me and a Black man on the train. The train carriage was full yet nobody intervened or checked that I was ok, the experience made me really angry and upset. Experiences like this remind me that I am a minority and make me reflect on my identity more. I did find it funny though, how one of the men being racist had the audacity to have his hair styled in dreadlocks.
I recently visited Slovenia to spend time with my boyfriend’s family. There aren’t many black or mixed-race people there. Most people stared at me which made me feel really uncomfortable and out of place. The same happens when I go on holiday in Europe with my family. I’ve been told that me and my siblings don’t look mixed-race, and that my Dad who is White doesn’t look like our Father. I think people forget that mixed-race people don’t all look the same. In terms of the way I look, I have always struggled with accepting the more ‘Black’ parts of my appearance. Growing up, and even to date, I have disliked my natural curly hair. I try really hard to mask it by straightening it and putting it in styles that don’t show the curls. I think that if I’d grown up around girls with similar hair types I would be more embracive of my hair – I hope that one day I feel comfortable and confident enough to do so!
As I’m getting older I’m reflecting on my mixed-race identity more. I find it weird that I’ll never experience feeling like I fully belong to one group of people. The chances of me being in a room full of mixed Welsh/British-Sierra Leoneans, that aren’t relatives, are pretty slim. However I do think it’s really cool to be a unique mix of cultural backgrounds. I think about whether I might have experienced more racism in my life if I had been born with darker skin and it upsets me to hear about the discrimination my Mum and relatives have experienced. I’ve visited Sierra Leone twice, at age 10 and 22. I don’t remember much from the first trip, other than feeling quite overwhelmed by the culture shock, and also the sense of feeling like I didn’t belong being lighter skinned than everyone else and having attention drawn to my family. The poverty I saw was also upsetting and I found it hard to understand as a child. Going into the second trip as an adult was a completely different emotional experience, as I was able to anticipate how locals would respond to me and my family. It was great being able to meet my massive, extended Sierra Leonean family again. What I love the most about coming from an African background is the closeness and value of family relationships.
I think my outlook will change massively as I get older, even taking part in this project has made me think about my identity more and I even notice shifts in how I identify myself on a day to day basis. I’m grateful that I haven’t experienced any overt discrimination or challenges, but I know that this isn’t a reality for many. This might be explained by me working within the field of mental health. I’ve been fortunate to work with compassionate, caring and non-judgemental people. I do wonder whether I’ll become attentive to my identity as I grow older and start to notice more covert discrimination in the workplace.
If I had the opportunity to be reborn I’d want to return the same, but I would love to be fluent in Welsh. I can understand and speak some of my Mum’s native language, Krio, but definitely need to practice more!