Sri Lankan | Jamaican
My parents met in a tropical fish shop in Brixton. They split when I was a baby and I was brought up in Sri Lanka by my Mother and her family. I had no connection to my Black roots or Black men out of fear because of the man my Father was, but I’m actively working on unlearning these toxic thought patterns. Growing up half Black in a country as small as Sri Lanka was difficult. People are racist as a result of being so sheltered. I denied and hid my Blackness as much as I could.
I have faced racism & racial gaslighting from family members, as well as isolation, confusion, self-hatred. I resented being mixed-race as a child but have learnt to love being in the ‘in between’ in adulthood. Coming from a split interracial home I am very passionate about interracial relationships being done ‘right’. Both sides have to be open and accept each other, otherwise it can be confusing and isolating for any children involved. I am highly emotionally driven. I’m surprised I can’t remember the last time I cried. It may be because it’s so much the norm for me. I cry when I’m happy, sad, confused, angry, hungry. It’s a wild ride.
I was brought up in Sri Lanka and I would love to visit Jamaica in the future. I feel connected to each culture through food. I like to eat Sri Lankan food because it reminds me of home. I like to eat Jamaican food because it makes me feel connected to a part of me I haven’t had the opportunity to explore yet.
I don’t really see much representation but Kamala Harris being Black & South Asian brings me great joy. I don’t have a specific role model. I take inspiration and learnings from everyone I choose to surround myself with. If I could talk to anyone about my identity it would be Benjamin Zephaniah. I remember reading some of his work when I was a child. I was confused and scared. I felt seen. Understood. And a little less alone.
If I had the opportunity to be reborn I’d come back exactly how I did the first time. It’s not been an easy ride but I love who I am today and I wouldn’t change that for the world.
One of the biggest personal challenges I have faced in the last 5 years is finding a new job. I was unsatisfied and working in a role that was so unsuited to who I am at my core. There were so many failed interviews, tears and my confidence was at rock bottom. Nobody wanted to hire me. I can’t be any good. Recently my dream came true. I’m now working at a well-recognised Diversity and Inclusion company. I get to do my soul work. How did I manage to land this position? By being 100% my authentic self. It was meant to be.