Moroccan | Trinidadian
I identify as a mixed-race Muslim. My Mother is from Morocco and my Father is from Trinidad. My Mother used to work in a hotel in Morocco which my Father happened to be staying in for work. He was in Morocco for several months and they ended up getting married and then settling in the UK.
I was raised more in Moroccan culture than the Trinidadian culture because I used to visit Morocco frequently and I know that side of my family more. My Mother used to cook Moroccan food frequently, like couscous once a week, and make all the tea and sweets etc. I never really was a big fan of Moroccan food though. I was also raised as a Muslim by my Mother which is an important part of the Moroccan identity. We celebrated all the big festivals too, like Eid. My parents tried to teach me French because both spoke it but I never liked the language. I ended up learning the Moroccan dialect as a teenager even though I wasn't taught it. It's too difficult to be in Morocco for a month without speaking it.
In terms of Trinidadian culture, I knew less of it growing up but I caught up more. Now, I actually prefer Trinidadian culture to Moroccan culture even though the truth is that I am more Moroccan. My Dad is a big fan of the music from his country so calypso, soca music was something that I was made to learn about. He also used to take us to the Trinidadian food places to get roti, doubles, curry etc (because he couldn't cook it himself). He also had a lot of Trinidadian friends and there would be gatherings.
I guess the fact that I am mixed-race does mean that I have no hesitation in having a partner from any ethnicity. I don't care about culture or what ethnicity they come from and many people really exaggerate this. As my parents married outside of their culture, they have no issues with it too. My partner is Chinese and there haven’t been any issues. Trinidad is a multicultural society where at least 20% of the country says that they are mixed-race although the reality is much higher. So it is normal for interracial relationships to occur there. My great Grandparents were Portuguese and the Portuguese community in Trinidad was too small for them not to marry outside their ethnicity. In Morocco, it depends on the family. Interracial relationships are not unheard of but some may prefer to remain in their own community. The truth is though that it is a third-world country and if that person can offer a better life then there will be no objection.
Sometimes I may just identify as Moroccan or Trinidadian. This is because I can't be bothered explaining the details. Sometimes I may say I am Trinidadian to an Arab person to avoid my poor Arabic skills being exposed.
The positives are that I have a double identity which could allow me to fit into two different communities without much of an issue. I am exposed to two different cultures and this opens your vision and gives you a better understanding of the world. I can also pick and mix what I don't like about one culture and then swap it for the other. For example, I am not a big fan of Moroccan food but I am a big fan of Trinidadian food.
The challenges are that there is not one single identity that you could claim properly. You might feel like an outsider to both to a certain extent. This is especially if you look very different to them or if you don't speak their language.
I think racial inequality in the UK is based on class. The reason it persists is because ethnic minorities are more likely to be working-class. They also tend to live in deprived communities with lower prospects which makes it difficult for social mobility. One major thing that I have seen with my own ideas is the limiting beliefs that keep inequality persistent. I went to a comprehensive school in an ethnic minority-majority area in London. A lot of the students here lacked the positive beliefs and self-esteem for them to get out of their comfort zone and go to university outside of London. This is despite the fact that so many of them could have gotten into a much better university outside of London but chose to remain in London because of fear. Exposure to other people who live outside of your own community could help this and could lead people to realise that all humans are pretty much the same.
I also think racial inequality exists differently for different communities. For example, South Asian people tend to be relatively well-represented in business and professional jobs. However, there is a lot of underrepresentation in media, entertainment and sports. This is the opposite for Black British people who are underrepresented in business and professional jobs but relatively well-represented in entertainment and sports. Therefore, programmes that can specifically target different communities and cater for their needs may be effective too.
I visit Morocco frequently. When growing up it used to be every year or two. Now it is more like every two or three years. I had good fun in Morocco and I know the culture quite well. I learnt the language from going there on a regular basis. Now it is slightly boring to go there but I still have a lot of family there so it is essential.
I visit Trinidad less often. I last visited Trinidad 3 years ago and I think I adapt to Trinidad much better than Morocco because it’s a Western society that speaks English. The differences between foreigners and locals are not as big as in Morocco. Also, the culture and way of life is more preferable. However, there's not much family left there so it’s more difficult to visit frequently.
I have become more proud of being mixed-race as I grew up. When I was a child, I hated going to Moroccan events or being around Moroccan people. The reason was that because I am mixed-race, I didn't fit in as well or know the culture as well as others. However, now I do not care as much. When I became an adult, I started travelling all over the world and I lived in China for a year. When you go abroad, you’re British regardless of your ethnic heritage. It becomes less important. I also went to university in Exeter which was predominantly a White city. Even there, people care less about your ethnicity and the specifics of your heritage. You are considered an ethnic minority but there is no classification of what country/countries like there is in London. At the end of the day, we are all British regardless of ethnicity.
I don't think I have ever met anyone with the same ethnic mix as me. Caribbean people are severely underrepresented in Russell Group universities and in professional jobs. I noticed this when I went to the ACS in Exeter. There were very few African/Caribbean people in the university generally. However, when I went to the ACS, most people were of African ethnicity but very few were of Caribbean descent. I think people generalise the term 'Black' too much without pointing out that there are major differences between Caribbean and African people and they are not all the same. More efforts should be put into specifically targeting the Caribbean community. With the Moroccan community, they are very small so that’s not something I could judge.
If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would like to return as myself as there is no need to change anything. Being mixed-race does not automatically mean half British or being half Black and White. I think this is something that a lot of people automatically presume and expect. I also think a lot of people expect everyone from Trinidad to be Black. They don't realise that Trinidad is a multicultural society where half of the population is Indian. They generalise and expect everywhere in the Caribbean to be the same as Jamaica.
The pandemic has been tough because of the increased restrictions and the fact that I am at home doing a Master’s degree. However, I have a few methods to manage my wellbeing. The most important thing is exercise, I normally go to the gym. Luckily, with the few pieces of equipment I have at home and the power of the internet I have a workout routine to make sure that I am still active which I try to do 4 times a week. I also make sure that I go for walks every day so I don't get cabin fever. Especially if there is some form of sunlight every day. I also take vitamin D tablets daily and use a sun lamp as the lack of sunlight really affects my sleep habits.
Finally, I use mindfulness apps and do this once a day. This is especially important because being indoors all the time means that I am often on a PC and it’s good to look away from the screen sometimes and just do nothing for a few minutes. It really has a good impact on my peace of mind.