Jamaican | Filipino
I am half Filipina/ half British-Jamaican woman born and raised in Queens, New York. My Mother is from the Philippines. My Father is of Jamaica heritage and was raised in London. They met in a photography class in Saudi Arabia (I know, it sounds like a movie, but it’s true!). My parents both love to travel and learn about other people’s cultures, so combining their cultures, I think, was enjoyable for them. My Dad knows how to cook Filipino food and my Mom loves visiting London. They did a really nice job of holding on to the culture they grew up in while taking on the culture of each other.
Any clashes in culture they had were more funny than anything. They both have accents and since their shared language is American English (American English is different!), a lot of words and phrases can get lost in translation. For example, not sure if my Mom understands what pudding is (Or anyone other than English people to be honest.) Culturally, Filipino’s tend to be more laid back, very chill and easy going and time is but a concept to most Filipino’s. This clashes with the more proper and passive demeanour my Father has. And he hates being late to things. The biggest fights in my house were always a matter of getting somewhere on time versus my Mom not seeing why we always have to rush. It’s been over 30 years and they still fight about time to this day. And much to my Father’s discontent, they usually end up being late regardless of how much he complains.
For me, interracial relationships are totally normal. My parents are obviously interracial, and most of my friends and family are in interracial relationships. I love the blending of cultures! I LOVE when you can tell in a person’s name that they are mixed-race- meaning their first name might be from one culture and their last name is a from a particular ethnicity. I love seeing weddings that combine the traditions of both cultures. I love when children can speak the language of both of their parents and eat the food from both places. As for my parents/ grandparents generation, I’m sure it was a bit more controversial back then. From what I understand, my maternal grandfather felt a type of way when my Mother brought my Father home but fortunately by the time I came around, I never felt any kind of negativity from my maternal Grandfather. I do think region makes a difference as well. Manilla which doesn’t have as much diversity as London does, so I’m sure my Dad bringing my Mom home was more normal than the reverse. I was raised with a lot of different cultures, so the only thing I need from a partner is to be able to embrace all of it. I need someone who is willing to travel to my parents countries and eat our food and understand our traditions. If you won’t eat the sisig and sing the karaoke with me in the Philippines or eat curry goat and have a few pints with me in London, thank you, next!
Most of my experience as being mixed-race has been positive and I attribute that to my parents raising me with strong pride in both my cultures. I always felt special being different from everyone else and I loved being able to navigate several difference spaces. The neighborhood I grew up in Queens was heavily Filipino, and they fully embraced me as one of their own. Most of the kids I grew up with were all first generation with parents from all over the world so being different was just a part of being from Queens.
The best thing about being mixed-race is 100% the food! Parties and holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving were always dope because of the different types of cuisine. Lumpia from my Mom and shepherd’s pie from my Dad - I love trying food from all over the world and I think that is due to the exposure to all types of different food I had growing up. Recently, I met a group of girls who are also half Filipino, half Black. We started an annual brunch where we get Filipino food and just chat and have a good time. The first time we did this, it was so amazing to me seeing a group of woman who looked like me and had similar stories to me. Even though I had always felt comfortable being different, it was nice to finally have a group of people to fit in with!
One challenge in being mixed-race is not outwardly looking mixed-race (to some people). I was raised very Filipino and I felt very connected to the culture but because I don’t look half Asian to most people, I feel like I’m constantly defending my mixed ethnicity. People often say, ‘oh I forgot you were half Asian’, which does bother me. It feels like erasing half my identity. One of the most frustrating challenges are the way people use my race to justify parts of my life. I’ve been told several times that ‘my Asian side’ is the reason I was a math major. Anytime I do anything academic or smart it’s been attributed to my Asian side. I’ve been told ‘the reason I’m pretty’ is because I’m half Asian. The systematic racism put in place to make our society, consciously and subconsciously, think less of Black people is always prevalent when people attribute any of my accomplishments to be half Asian. On the other hand, because of not looking outwardly Asian, people can be racist towards Asians around me. I’ve had people say very rude things about Asian people to me or around me and when I tell them I’ve half Asian, all of a sudden they are so apologetic.
My worst memory of being mixed-race was in high school (secondary school) when I was trying to join after school clubs. I signed up for Filipino Club and was welcomed with open arms. When I tried to sign up for West Indian Club, a few girls asked me about being Jamaican, and then concluded that I ‘wasn’t Black enough’ to join the club. This was particularly hard for me because my Father raised us with more British culture than Jamaican culture, so I already felt quite disconnected to being Jamaican. Looking back, this interaction changed my relationship with the Black community. Until recently, I felt more comfortable in Filipino spaces and out of place in Black spaces because I wasn’t sure if they would accept me for being half Filipino. I was afraid that my pride in being half Filipino and identifying as half Asian would make Black people think I wasn’t proud of being Black. In recent years, I’ve come to a place where I am unapologetically proud of who and what I am.
Filipino food is my absolute favorite and no one cooks like my Mom. I grew up around a Filipino community so I grew up very exposed to our culture through food, parties, traditions, language, and boy do we love karaoke. In high school I was a part of the Filipino Club at school and participated in International Nights where we would bring in food and take part in traditional dances such as the tinikling. I connect with my Dad’s culture by visiting London as often as I could and now I live here! I don’t feel as connected to my Jamaican side as my cousins in London are but I love spending time with my Grandmother who has lived in London for over 60 years but sounds like she’s never left Jamaica. What I know of Jamaican culture has been limited but I do love the food and music. I am fortunate enough to still have family in London and in the Philippines so growing up, we typically went to London every 2 years and Manilla every 4 years. I recently moved to London and have been enjoying hanging out with my Father’s childhood friends and hearing stories about their adventures when they were younger.
I’ve always loved being mixed-race and I don’t think that will ever change. I love being Black and I love being Filipino. I love being BlAsian. I love being Blackapino. I love being Hapa. I love being different and I also love when I meet other people with my mix. I know not every mixed person has had my experience of being comfortable being mixed so I am even more grateful for how my parents raised me to ensure I always loved myself and my mixed-races.
I’m happy with the mistakes and triumphs that shaped me to be this human who I am and I would not change any of that. However, in the vein of being mixed, I do wish I looked more like my mix (think: Tiger Woods) so if I had to be honest, I would want to look more Filipino/ more mixed - without sacrificing any of my Blackness if that was possible. And if we’re wishing for things, I’d also want to be able to teleport and talk to animals.