Italian | Anglo-Indian
I identify as mixed-race, British, Atheist and bisexual. My Mum was born in Calcutta, India and is an Anglo Indian. Both her parents were born in India (her Father in what would now be Pakistan). My Dad was born in a tiny village called Faicchio, in southern Italy.
They were introduced by family friends. Though my Dad is 18 years older, they have been married 39 years. Being both Catholic helped as there wasn’t too big of a culture clash. My Mum was hit hardest by the union of them both as she travelled to the UK for the first time in her life (first time on a plane) to meet my Dad who was already living here for about 20 years, so he helped her immerse herself into British culture. But she helped him with his English language funnily enough. He has always been a manual worker and never had the need to learn English very well, he also, like many immigrants, stayed within his own circles of other Italians and family. So they helped each other greatly.
They both love music. My Mum isn’t a fussy eater but my Dad still isn’t the biggest fan of Indian food! The only one in our family of five. My Mum has never been back to India. I plan on taking them back to my Dad’s village. Calcutta is also on our bucket list. They are both nervous travellers so sadly never travelled much since they both moved to the UK. I’ve made it my duty to take them places while they’re still here.
I always knew I would marry someone foreign. Originally I wanted to be with an Italian as I identified most as Italian perhaps because of my name but also my Mum’s culture was so unwelcome in the small towns I’d lived in and I almost abandoned that part of myself. I ended up marrying a Lithuanian.
I was always called racial slurs growing up. As a joke, maliciously, whatever they called it, it always hurt. I was beaten up a few times for nothing other than my skin colour. I hated not looking White as a child. I was very confident but angry that I couldn’t fit in enough. I was always accused of being too sensitive. I always called myself Italian.
It’s always been so completely normal in my family to be in interracial relationships. Most of my family members have married a different race to themselves because we’re quite rare. I have two brothers; one has married a White woman and the other a Black woman. It’s just completely mundane to us. I only ever knew one Grandparent, and other than her staunch Catholic beliefs, she accepted every race. Interracial couples are a wonderful thing in my opinion.
I struggled for a long time with my identity. I only really understood that I looked different when I started school. My family are so mixed, many are White and many are Brown so I fitted in perfectly. Even my brothers and I are a gradient from fair skin to dark Brown. But at school in a small town in Oxfordshire I felt a lot of negativity and often got labelled as loud. My parents moved us to Lancashire when I was a teen and it was just as bad if not worse. But the worst thing about my experiences was other people telling me how to feel. Other people telling me that they didn’t see it or feel it. That’s been the most frustrating part of my racial bullying. It almost made me doubt whether I should be feeling hurt at all or was I really just overreacting.
Moving to London was the best decision I’ve ever made in my life. I haven’t faced a single negative situation regarding my race. People usually ask where I’m from out of curiosity that we may be from the same place and it always sparks a great conversation. I started to embrace my Anglo-Indian side and slowly I started to feel very proud of what makes me who I am. I also owed my Mum an apology. I visited Faicchio once and often visit Italy. I am going to my Dad’s village with him to make the trip. Unfortunately I wasn’t taught either language from my parents so it was a struggle. I plan on visiting my Mum’s birthplace. I think it’s important for me.
My background used to be something I hated about myself. I often felt so lost and like I never belonged. Moving to a city and learning to love myself has made me love the skin I’m in. I’m excited to tell people where I’m from and I wear my identity with a lot of pride now. That can only improve as I get older. I am a freelance photographer so luckily I work for myself. However I have had so many jobs in my life before I worked for myself. In every single job I experienced sexism on quite a large scale. In Lancashire I experienced both sexism and racism as ‘banter’. I got so used to it that it didn’t even concern me at the time. I wouldn’t have had the courage to come out as bisexual in those jobs considering their reactions to my skin tone and gender. In my current career, I do sometimes feel inequality around the people I shoot. I work with my partner a lot and he will often be the one that clients will talk to or put above me which I often assume is because he is male.
If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would return exactly as I am but hope to be armoured from a young age with better comebacks.
I’m quite a loner, so being away from people during the pandemic hasn’t bothered me so much but the virus has caused me some anxiety. It doesn’t help that I’ve suffered with anxiety and panic disorder for 17 years.
I’ve endured racism for most of my life until I moved to London so regardless of my fears towards this virus, I felt it hugely important to get out there and protest myself after the death of George Floyd (as safely as possible) which I am happy that I did. I stand for equality across the spectrum and it pains me that it’s still something that has to be fought for. I have tried to educate myself during this pandemic to learn how deep racial injustice stems. I want to learn and also become a better person.