Irish/Italian/Guyanese | Indian/Portuguese/Irish
I identify as a British mixed-race male. My Mum was born in Dublin (Ireland), her background is Irish/Italian/South American (Guyanese) and she moved over to London at a young age. My Dad was born in Bangalore (India), his mix is Indian/Portuguese and Irish, he moved over to London, again, at a young age. Funny enough, they lived on the road next to one another and that’s how they met!
My parents managed combining their cultures fine. When they were younger, similar to today, Stratford was a place that was populated by different cultures and ethnicities, so they didn’t find it a problem at all. As they were both raised Catholics and also had part similar backgrounds, I think this helped as well. I do feel that it is easier for people to have interracial relationships nowadays and for people to accept it. It was ok for my parents, but it was hard, at first, for my Grandparents (both sets) when they came over to the UK. On my Mum’s side, people would look at my Grandmother in disgust because a White looking woman (although she was Irish/ Italian) was with a coloured man. It would even be hard for them to find a home because it was at the time of ‘No Coloured, No Dogs, No Irish’, so they were both singled out.
My culture doesn’t affect my choice in partners, you can’t help who you fall for, no matter the culture. I can understand and completely respect that some cultures may have a different say because of religious reasons; and that’s fair enough. However, looking at my Grandparent’s relationship (on my Mum’s side), my Nana is an Irish/Italian raised as a Catholic and Grandad was Guyanese, raised as a Sikh. Two different backgrounds, but they made it work because they loved one another, no matter how hard it was, they provided for themselves and their children. I give tremendous respect and take great inspiration from that.
Having a family that has so many different races and culture means there’s a lot of them; my family is huge, and they have moved to so many different countries too, like Canada and New York. So being able to go and see them and hear their journeys is such an honour.
When I was younger, in high school; and I first learnt about my mixed identity, I would tell my friends about it and they would accuse me of making it up, whether they would be joking around or not, I remember getting annoyed over it. It wasn’t until they saw my Dad and the colour of his skin, they thought ‘oh maybe he’s telling the truth’. There was another time when a boy heard about my mixed identity and called me a racial slur in a passing comment, due to my Indian Heritage. That was the first and last time I’ve been called anything like that, and I just put it down as ignorance. I guess I face challenges all the time with my mixed identity, especially when I talk to people about it. I always hear things like ‘You don’t look Indian’, because I’m too light skinned or ‘Guyanese? Really?’ And ‘Yea you do look Italian’. I’ve been accused of not being a ‘Real Indian’, but what is a Real Indian? It can be frustrating sometimes but over the years, I’ve realised that it’s only an opinion, everyone has them. At the end of the day, I am who I am; and I am blessed to be mixed-race, there’s no reason for me to lie about any of my races because, well, what’s the point in it? What would I gain? I can only tell the truth about who I am.
Oh man it’s so good being from these different cultures because the food is amazing. From curries to pizza’s and pasta’s, my Nana’s are amazing cooks! That’s how it used to be, Saturday nights we would go to my Nan and Grandad’s on my Dad’s side for curry and then my other Grandparents on Sunday for pasta and roast. I was quite a large kid when I was younger! With music, I took a lot of interest in Irish Folk Music, thanks to my Mum and my Nan, the melody and the lyrics are just amazing to listen to, we would always sing along to ‘The Dubliners’, great times. As a professional dancer, my main style is Hop Hip, however I have learnt Indian Dance Styles such as Bhangra and Bharanatyam which were so enjoyable and felt such a great connection to it. Everyone should try it!
As a kid, we would go over to Dublin around Easter time to spend it with my Great Uncle Ken and see the rest of the family. I have been to Italy a few times (recently came back from my cousin’s Wedding in Italy, he had it near the town where my Great Grandfather grew up). I haven’t been to India or Guyana yet, but it is on my to-do list to see the places where my Grandparents (Dad’s side) and my Granddad (Mum’s side) grew up.
As a child, I didn’t really think about being mixed that much. As I got older and realised all these different backgrounds I was from, I found it interesting and proud to be that diverse. However, I remember listening to this Comedian called Russell Peters one time. He was born in Canada, but both his parents came from India, he said he remembered when he was going to India for the first time and how Patriotic he felt. But when he got over there, the sight, the sounds, even the smell was so different! He felt like a bit of an outcast which led him on to say ‘Racially, I’m Indian, culturally, I’m Canadian’. I couldn’t help and think about that with my situation. Yes, racially I’m all these things, Indian, Guyanese, Italian, Irish etc but culturally, I’m British. I was born in the East End of London, it’s where I grew up, I support West Ham United, I only know the UK lifestyle. It’s not to say that I disregard the different races I am, I’m proud of these things too. Now I say that I’m proud to be racially diverse but I’m proud to be British. I think it’ll change when I get older, not for me, but for the UK, London especially, it's become so ethnically diverse which I feel is amazing.
I would say with my culture, yes, it's inclusive because I’m British, but, with me being mixed-race, it’s been a struggle because of my facial features. As a mixed-race performer, I would say it’s been difficult, more so for the acting side of things because people don’t know what casting bracket to put me in. Different Casting Directors, different opinions I guess. I’ve had it all, I’ve gone up for Mediterranean guys, Asian guys, even Middle Eastern guys! I’ve been told ‘Yea you do look Italian, but not Indian’, ‘Definitely Middle Eastern, not Indian’, ‘You kind of look Indian, if you grow your facial hair a bit more’. One even said, ‘I thought you were Greek!’. I remember sitting down with one Casting Director for a T.V show, I was going up for an Asian guy, once I did the scene she asked me what my ethnicity was. Once I explained that I’m part Indian/Italian/Irish/ Portuguese and Guyanese, she said ‘when you walked in, I saw the Italian side of you, but once you started acting, I saw the Indian side of you’. I honestly didn’t know how to respond to that. So it’s always been a struggle for me and I think it always will be, because of the wide range of ethnicities I come from, I am put in to all these different casting brackets, which can be good, but it can be bad because of different casting opinions, it’s a catch 22 situation.
If I was to be born again, I would return as myself. I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m proud of myself, my family and my mixed identity. Being a person with all these mixes, I feel like I’m different, but in a good way, so why would I want to change that?