German | Nigerian
My Mum is from Hannover, Germany, and my Dad from Lagos, Nigeria. They both moved to London as young adults. My Dad was working in London, my Mum was on holiday and they had a chance encounter in Peckham.
I think 2020 with the pandemic and the murder of George Floyd really made me think about who I am, my Blackness, my ‘Mixed Raceness’, and how that shaped my identities (which often conflicted with each other). How society viewed me based on the colour of my skin came into sharp focus, especially as someone who has often felt quite lucky and with some levels of privilege in how my parents contributed to a stable upbringing. It’s a constant journey, but generally I am managing to become comfortable with who I am, being proud of all my racial and cultural influences which make me unique.
When I was younger, I would often keep my Islamic upbringing very quiet. My Mum and Dad are both Muslim (not really practicing that much anymore but did more then). I went to a majority White secondary school with a fair amount of racism. This was a big contrast with where I went to primary school, a diverse and Muslim majority school. I felt it was already challenging being ‘Black’ and being half German before adding that I was Muslim too.
Never in an overt way but I was definitely made to feel I was different. This happened in Germany a fair amount with comments on my skin colour. Although nothing was malicious, it was othering. It has also happened in Nigeria to an extent too.
My Dad was a strong and present figure in my upbringing, which was valuable. He gave me tips on how to survive as a Black man in the UK. He gave ‘the talk’ which I am sure most Black and mixed boys and girls might be aware of! ‘You have to work twice as hard to get half as far’.
Mixed-race
Black
Halfcast
Dual heritage
Brown
Obviously some are better than others, however none feel adequate to describe me. It makes me wonder of the importance of labels, how much they hinder even when intended to help. Why do we have to categorise ourselves in socially constructed boxes?
I have always faced challenges around not feeling fully White or fully Black, and not finding my place. I feel comfortable around diversity as I feel it’s a reflection of me and a reflection of how we could be as a society.
The positives come from the same thing, I can relate to so many people (Black and White, and other cultures from having a generally open mind). I can adapt and find connection with lots of types of people.
It was special to be mixed. A lot of that was tied up in colourism however, where being mixed or ‘light-skinned’ was deemed as a beauty ideal. It still is at the moment, but I am glad people are challenging this now. I do still feel proud now, but more in how being having multiple cultures and races is a strength for me. I am able to relate with almost everyone, having built empathy for different experiences.
I am close to my immediate family, but not so much with extended. This is mostly due to distance. My immediate family live in London, but my extended are all over the world (Nigeria, Germany, USA). I find comfort in having stability with my parents and sister, and value them so much in my life!
I am trying to push the fact that I am mixed-race with Black colleagues, for example in our Black Employee Network. I feel strongly about my mixed-race identity, especially because the German culture heavily influenced my upbringing, and feel uncomfortable being classed as Black without the context behind it.
My role model is Akala. His book ‘Natives’ was fantastic and resonated with me so much, especially as a mixed-race boy navigating London. Akala is just a brilliant orator too, both in music and in conversation. Inspiring!