French/Algerian | Congolese
I am a 22-year-old, African-mixed Muslim. My Mum is originally from Algeria and France and my Father is Congolese. They met in Paris, France. They both lived and worked locally with each other. As a child I hid my religion. I grew up in a time where Islamophobia was becoming more prevalent and felt like I would be ridiculed for identifying as a Muslim. Both within and outside the Islamic community I never really felt like I could be open about my religious views, as I consider myself as modern day 'liberal' Muslim, therefore, I am both judged for not wearing a headscarf and for wearing a headscarf.
I am yet to meet someone with the same ethnic background as me. This both makes me feel empowered and isolated, as it is harder to find other people who can relate to me in the same way, however knowing that my ethnic mix is uncommon makes me feel like an important representation of how any ethnicity can unite as one. I have always loved my ethnicity, skin and culture and this very much shows within my art. Both in a physical form through my painting and through my words in poetry. I like to further uplift and amplify the beauty that is Blackness.
Some positives are that I have always had a clear view of both sides of the argument, I can empathise with both the Black and White experience. Being raised within London as a mixed-race girl I never really had to deal with racism or bullying. I was very much welcomed and encouraged to be myself.
Some challenges I faced with my identity included not feeling 'whole'. I was raised in a single-parent household by my Mother, so as a child I noticed a disconnect with half of my heritage (my Black side). I ended up moulding part of my personality from the Black friends I had who were either Jamaican or Nigerian, but still never had a secure understanding of being Congolese.
Growing up I engaged with my ethnicity through music. I would watch countless videos of infamous Congolese songs, dancing and singing along to words I couldn't yet understand. I remember in secondary school being African was often met with teasing and jokes about being ‘fresh off the boat’ and being ‘light-skinned’ (mixed-race) was placed on a pedestal. As long as you had the desired features (light skin, loose-curly hair, thin nose and full lips). More recently I have seen a shift, where these originally Black features are being highlighted on Black women. There is still a stigma around being mixed-race however now, it isn't broadcasted as much as being the exotic, cool and desirable thing.
If I were reborn I would return exactly the same, the only thing I would change is how I viewed my ethnicity as a child, so that I fully embraced all parts of myself. Fitting in is just as important as standing out.
I am managing my wellbeing by putting my mental health first, doing activities that give me peace of mind and make me happy. I feel drained, being at odds with certain family members that don't see the extent of racial inequality and police brutality, is a tiresome experience, but I am further motivated to speak on these injustices and educate people.