Filipino | Indonesian
I feel I have many identities due to my mixed background. I identify myself as being British, of mixed-heritage (half Filipino, half Indonesian) and as a Londoner. Which identity I choose if someone asks depends on the situation. For example, if I can’t be bothered to explain my whole background I just say, ‘I’m from London’, or, ‘I’m from East London’, if I feel like being slightly more specific. My Mum is Filipino and my Dad is Indonesian. They left their countries to find work abroad. My Mum came over to the UK as a nanny and my Dad as a writer/journalist. They met in London during the 70s.
My parents would always tell me stories about what life was like growing up in their countries to remind me of my heritage and culture, as well as to highlight how different my life is compared to theirs since I grew up in the UK. They also made sure that I visited their home countries which was great because I was able to observe the similarities and differences in their cultures. I find there are two distinct differences. One is the religion: my Filipino family are Roman Catholic and my Indonesian family are Muslim. My parents made sure that I respect and understand both religions and customs so that I could easily fit into my family’s way of life back home whenever I visit. The other is food: unlike Filipino food, Indonesian food is spicy. We always had Filipino and Indonesian food at home, so I got used to the different cuisines. Unlike my Filipino family, I can handle spicy dishes!
I feel that because of my mixed background, and having grown up in a diverse society, I am very open to interracial relationships. I have many friends who are mixed-race, or of mixed-heritage, so to me this is normal. However, my grandparent’s generation would have different views, mostly because they are not used to it. They lived in non-diverse, traditional societies. In fact, my paternal grandparents always intended to arrange my father’s marriage to someone from the same Indonesian ethnic group (Minang) to follow tradition, however they had no choice but to accept the fact that my dad wanted to marry someone from a different religion and ethnic group. After all, he intended to stay in the UK, not in Indonesia!
I don’t feel like my culture affects the way I choose my partner, probably because I was born in the UK. For me it’s just important that my partner understands and respects my mixed heritage and culture. I never felt pressure to find a partner from a particular background.
I love being of mixed-heritage because it’s different. You won’t find many people from the same background as me, so it’s always a great conversation starter if someone asks about it. And I secretly enjoy when people try to guess where I’m originally from, especially when they get it totally wrong! What’s also great is that I can blend into both countries when I visit, especially as sometimes I feel that I can stand out in certain environments in the UK due to my ethnicity. I also enjoy forming friendships and bonds with people who have the same background (i.e. British born children of immigrants) as we have a shared identity and similar funny, but mostly awkward, stories about growing up in the West with foreign parents.
The main challenge for me is that feeling of not really belonging anywhere. Although I’m British, I know that I’m part of the ‘minority’ here. And although I’m originally from The Philippines and Indonesia, and I blend in when in those countries, I’m often treated like a ‘foreigner’ because I’m not fluent in the languages or used to the culture.
The main way I connect to my Filipino and Indonesian culture is through food. In my parent’s home you’ll always find the national dishes there! I also connect by attending Filipino or Indonesian events in London. For instance, there are often events in London to celebrate Indonesian culture, so I usually attend wearing a batik (Indonesian cloth) garment to feel connected to my community.
I lived in Indonesia for almost a year as an English teacher after graduating from university. I did this to learn more about my Indonesian culture, as well as improve my grasp of the language. I chose to not live with my family whilst there as I wanted to be independent and experience this adventure on my own. It was a truly valuable experience and I am glad I made this decision - I would encourage others to do the same!
My outlook on my mixed-heritage has changed from a child compared to as an adult. As a child through to my early teenage years I never really gave much thought to my ethnicity. I think this was mainly because I grew up in an area and attended schools that are very ethnically-diverse. It was only when I started university that I became more aware of my mixed-heritage identity because I found myself attending classes that were not ethnically-diverse so it made me think about this topic even more. Because of this experience I became so fascinated about ethnic diversity in Britain that I chose to write my Master’s dissertation on organisational behaviour, to uncover the different perceptions of ethnicity and the effect this has on British ethnic minorities sense of self, workplace experiences and future career prospects and aspirations. It’s a topic I can talk about for ages!
If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would like to return as a panda, because they’re so cute and just chill all day.