English | Indian
I identify as British with mixed heritage. I’m half Indian, half English. I wasn’t brought up with a religion, I experienced and learnt about a lot through my education but I’ve found religion isn’t really for me. My Mother is from England, was born here but was brought up in several different countries. My Father is from India, but he came over to the UK when he was 3 months old. They met in London, in a pub in Hackney, they both tell people they’re from London when anyone asks.
I think I’ve always been aware I was mixed-race, and because my upbringing meant I was around a lot of different people from all walks of life, I never thought anything of it. I think I only ever realised that it was a ‘thing’ when we moved to New Zealand and some of my classmates asked ‘where I was really from’ when I told them I was English.
I grew up all around the world, my Dad’s job moved us every three years or so. I’m what you call a ‘Third Culture Kid’, a child that has been brought up in a culture or cultures that is not that of their parents. I got to experience so many different cultures, food, and people at such a young age and now I have an easy acceptance of whoever I meet regardless of where they are from because of this.
Third Culture Kids have a knack of assimilating to where ever they are, but also struggling to feel like they fit in. I’ve only just started to consider how this has affected my opinion of my dual heritage. I realised when I came to the UK that I was different not only because of my out of the ordinary upbringing but also because I was mixed-race. I’ve never seen my upbringing as an issue, nor have I ever seen my dual heritage as one, but It makes me consider it more when strangers, or people I talk to, have a problem or question it. I think because of my upbringing I’ve never thought anything of the fact that I have dual heritage, it’s always seemed normal to me.
My Dad isn’t religious, nor does he really identify as being Indian, he always says he is from England. He was brought up here, went to school here, got his degree and his first job here, to himself, he’s English. So my parents never really had to combine cultures. They did have an Indian wedding, and when we visited my paternal Grandmother we did pooja, went to temple, we cooked and ate Indian food, and recently we had an Indian funeral when she passed away. It’s always been a really lovely blend of English and Indian cultures. It’s never felt forced.
Constantly throughout my life, but I never realised it till I started to think and learn about the world. I am ALWAYS asked ‘no really, where are you from?’ or ‘you don’t look Indian?’ and once I had ‘oh, but you aren’t a real Indian’. The worst was once a person at school told me I was ‘at least half good’ when I asked if he had a problem with me after he said some disgustingly racist things. Never have I ever felt discriminated against in the workplace, or at University though. It’s just the constant questions that people feel the need to ask because they don’t believe your first answer. It’s infuriating, but I’ve learnt that if someone doesn’t believe my first answer, then the likelihood is, that we aren’t going to be friends.
I don’t give second chances to those who are racist, sexist, misogynistic, transphobic, homophobic. Basically, if you’re someone who thinks that they are better than someone else because of their sexuality/gender/skin colour/or anything really, then we aren’t going to be friends. Thankfully, I work in a creative field and don’t often experience people like this. I know those types are everywhere and I’m always shocked to come across them, but I like to think that I surround myself with people who are accepting and kind.
I love food. Any type of food, any cuisine, any time. I’d eat noodles for breakfast if I could. The happiness food brings is a constant throughout the world and its cultures. Through my Grandmother, I was given great Indian food from a young age. It’s a comfort food for me, it makes me feel warm and safe. Sadly I don’t think my culture has affected the way I connect to Music. I’m not very musical, and neither is my family. We’re more of an Art and Design family. Only being able to speak one language is a sore spot for me. I had so many opportunities growing up, and my Grandmother spoke about 8 different languages. So being mixed-race hasn’t had an affect really, just an appreciation and awe of people who can speak more than one.
Again my culture hasn’t affected my fashion sense. I wore a Sari for my Commemoration day when leaving School (which was awesome), but other than that I’m a pretty western dresser.
Growing up I realised even before puberty that I had more hair on my body and face than a lot of other girls. Was pretty traumatic being bullied for my ‘sluggish’ eyebrows and fuzzy upper lip. I think even once, a girl laughed at my legs for having hair on them. The thin eyebrow fashion was a daily struggle for me. I wish I could go back and tell myself to put down the tweezers. It’s funny now that all the people who commented on my eyebrows and made fun of them, are the ones who have grown theirs out and go on about their own ‘brow game’ on Instagram.
I’ve met so many amazing people who are mixed-race and we’ve instantly bonded over the stupid things people say to you. It’s also crazy empowering when you see someone succeeding and they’re mixed-race. But mainly, it’s my cousins who make up the most of my positive experiences. There are 6 of us in total, 5 in London and 1 in Manchester. We’re all half English, Half Indian and all completely different human beings but the love and support and understanding I get from them is literally the best thing about being me. We go for Cousin Curry Club every month or so, and after my Grandmother’s funeral we sat on the train home drinking red wine and eating Samosas. They’re my sisters (and brother), it’s incredible.
I think I think about blending into society too much, I’m slowly coming to the conclusion and mindset that not blending in is far, far better than doing so. Being mixed-race helps me feel more connected to people, I have two cultures I can say I’m a part of.
I’m constantly aware of cultural appropriation, and honestly hate it when people I know seem to think it’s ok. I’ll stop shopping at a store if I think they’re stealing from cultures. Other than that, being mixed-race doesn’t have a huge impact on my fashion.
Fortunately, I’ve never experienced any sort of negativity at work, or ever felt like I’m being treated differently. I’d be mortified and hugely disappointed if I was ever made to feel like that.
I’m pretty happy with being me, I don’t really want anyone else’s life. Coming back as a Whale would be cool though, cruising the Oceans would be a calm life I reckon.