British | Jamaican
When I was younger, I always hated the question, ‘Where are you from?’. I knew what I was being asked was regarding my heritage, but stubbornly would reply that I was British, or just say London. They would then ask, ‘Where are you parents from?’. Again, I would reply stating they are British. I wanted to push them into asking their intended question… why do I have colour? I would then explain my Father is Jamaican and my Mother British; some would still want clarity that my Mother was White. I personally identify as a British, Christian, heterosexual with Caribbean heritage. My Mother is British as are her parents. My Father was born in Jamaica but lived for many years in the UK before returning. I am currently researching my family tree as there are other possible cultural connections such as Indian and French.
Both my parents integrated as children with friends of all nationalities. Combining cultures was never an issue for them. I have always believed the mixing of heritages is a beautiful thing, we are after all unique as individuals and not solely defined by where are parents are born but rather our experiences as we grow up. In my parent’s era, I believe interracial relationships were somewhat taboo, even though it was becoming more common. There were definitely people, who although happy to socially mix with people of different heritages, did not support interracial relationships.
My culture didn’t have an effect on who I was attracted to or who I would choose, but rather how confident I was expressing interest. I did for a while believe that my culture would impact on my choice of partner as I started to see myself as the ‘exotic’ choice for some who were curious regarding women who were not ‘visually’ White British.
Being mixed has opened a lot of dialogue between myself and strangers due to curiosity as to what mix I am and therefore helped start conversations as an adult that may have not otherwise have taken place. In some cases, I have had hours of conversations with people who have admitted pre-conceptions of both white and black cultures and curious to find out the realities.
I have been ridiculed for not being ‘Black’ enough or not really Black and ironically for being too ‘Black’. This is based solely on stereotypes of how people expect each race to act, dress, talk, eat. Whilst on my travels, I have experienced prejudice and racism, and this was mainly based on the concept of being mixed, which was deemed as atypical. I sometimes feel I am underestimated due to my heritage and sometimes because I am female, however, as I have gotten older, I have found there is definitely a more positive shift.
My music, food, clothes, etc are a mix of both cultures. I do not feel influence is more heavily placed on either culture, but an amalgamation of both. I have visited a few Caribbean Islands but am yet to visit Jamaica. Britain is my home.
As a teen, I began to gauge the social response to my mixed heritage but was not vocal about it. I am now proud that I am the best of both heritages and I am far more aware of the signs of potential bias and I am not hesitant to be vocal in that regard. I have always been the type of person to have open and frank conversations and more so now when it is regarding race and gender. People only know what they have experienced or have been informed. Being open to having the dialogue can help promote positive change and better understanding.
I feel there is a conscious effort to ensure inclusiveness and diversity, be it gender, sexual orientation or culture. At my workplace, it is highlighted and emphasised openly that they wish everyone to be inclusive and will expose any circumstances where this philosophy is not being adopted. However, I do think nationally there is still an under-representation of women in management regardless of their heritage.
If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would return as myself because I am a strong, confident, proud, mixed heritage woman.