British/Canadian | Japanese

My Mum is from Japan and my Dad is from the UK and Canada. They met when they were working in Malawi. Their shared languages are English and Chichewa.

My parents both worked in development and moved for work every few years. So I spent my childhood in lots of different places, mostly in different Asian countries. My Father grew up in a really similar way, living in many countries including Zimbabwe, Pakistan and the United States. My Mum left Japan after university, moving first to East Africa, and other than for short periods, she only lived back in Japan after retirement. So living within multiple cultures was a shared experience in my family.

I feel closer towards my Japanese heritage, and that’s probably because I spent more time in Japan when I was growing up, rather than in the UK or Canada. I spent some time living with my Japanese Grandparents in Sapporo when I was 7 and later when I was 17. My Grandfather had a big influence on my closeness with Japanese culture.

When growing up most of my group of friends were of mixed heritage and so I didn’t think too much of it. It was only a pleasure in that I felt like I was lucky enough to have different perspectives and got to enjoy different cultures and traditions. As I grew older I started to become more self aware of being mixed-race. It’s still a privilege and pleasure for me but I’ve also experienced those moments of cultural isolation.

Despite being of mixed Asian and White ethnicity, I experience a lot of White privilege so my feelings of cultural isolation are always quite conflicted. On the one hand not being considered ‘enough’ of a certain identity, or having to repeatedly justify your heritage is demoralising. But on the other hand I internalise those feelings of isolation because I feel guilty. I think other people experience more stigma and prejudice. This internalised conflict will probably never go away. But I’m really proud of having a mixed heritage, it has brought me a lot of joy.

Now that I live in London and am a Father, my Japanese heritage is even more important to me as I want to share it with my daughter. I try to speak to her exclusively in Japanese, like my Mum did to me, and really feel a responsibility to make her feel a part of her Japanese heritage. My daughter will have her own journey to discover what it means to be mixed-race for her. But I hope that I can support her in feeling that (my wife who phrased it so eloquently) your identity isn’t a fraction. You are all your identities, as a whole, in equal manner.

In Japan there are so many festivals to celebrate for children as they are growing up. My parents are so supportive in helping me maintain those traditions for my daughter to help her interact with Japanese culture. There is hinamatsuri, shichi-go-san, and tons of traditions over new years. Obviously, my daughter receiving otoshidama (pocket money) from her relatives on New years day and going to the toy store later that afternoon is a favourite!

Just like my Mum and Grandma I love cooking Japanese food and I enjoy sharing this with my friends and family. I feel especially happy and proud when my daughter enjoys eating my homemade ramen and onigiri.