English/Welsh | Indonesian

Photo credit: provided by subject

I identify as Eurasian, agnostic, heterosexual and an ally to the LGBTQI community. My Mum moved from Cardiff to Australia when she was seven, arriving via boat. Both my grandparents on my Mother’s side were Welsh decent too but they lived here, for my Mother’s life. My Dad was from Yogyjakarta, Indonesia. I don’t know much about his family history as he passed away when I was a teenager and we’d been estranged for a few years before that. They met while my Mother was travelling Indonesia, and she told me that she was originally meant to go to India but chose a different flight. Things could’ve turned out quite differently.

My mum always tried to encourage my Dad to speak Bahasa Indonesia, with us kids, but he struggled with that, so we grew up never speaking anything but English. I guess it created a language/culture barrier between us and our Indonesian family, so we lost touch, especially after his death. We have always been very vocal about being half Indo though, so as much as we didn’t know about him, we’ve always been proud of that. When I was a kid, I remember not knowing any Eurasian kids, especially in primary school, so I thought it was still not a normal thing to have interracial parents. But now as an adult, the majority of the people I know are mixed-race, so perhaps it was just the area I was living in.

In terms of choosing a partner, culture doesn’t affect who I date or see as a future partner. I feel religion might be the biggest one, as I feel our lifestyles would be too different. In saying that though my Mum grew up Christian and my Dad Muslim, so you never know. In my experience, being of mixed-race, creates a kind of kinship with other mixed-race people. It’s almost like being a part of a nice little community. There’s a sense of belonging.

As an actor, I’ve found my Eurasian background has created challenges in landing roles. Especially in Australia. I’m not Asian enough to be cast as an Asian, and not White enough to be cast as White person. It’s very frustrating but it’s slowly changing. I also found that when living in the UK, my full Indo name, really influenced how people responded to me on paper. Especially when I was applying for housing. My sister, who has a western first name, experienced a very different response which was very disheartening. But it was also 7 years ago, so I like to think that’s also changing

Food is the biggest connection to our heritage I think. We all love stupid amounts of rice. Even my Mum. Egg and rice for breakfast. Rice is life. My Aunty on my Mother’s side is also an amazing chef, so we grew up around lots of French/ European cuisine too. I’d say we have equal parts of deliciousness on both sides. I lived in London for about three and a half years, and recently came back this February, to see friends and family. Unfortunately, I’ve never been to Wales though. I’ve spent very little time in Indonesia, only having been to Bali when I was eighteen, but I’m rallying my Mum and siblings to get organised to visit Yogyakarta early next year and finally reconnect with our Dad’s family. The older I get, the more I want to know about my dad’s side. I think that has a lot to do with empathy. The majority of my close friends group are international or mixed-race and I think I’m drawn to them because, I understand, having done something similar in London, that it’s hard to pack up your life and create a new one, especially in a foreign world. Mixed-race people, or those foreign to your own, are the most interesting people you can meet in life.

If I were to be born again, it would definitely be of mixed-race origin because you have no option but to be open minded. And that’s the best way to be.