Swedish | Filipino
I’m at a point in my life where I’m questioning everything; my purpose, my decisions, and the path I want to take over the next few years. Most people my age are settling down into married life, moving out of the city, having children and it feels like I’m a little out of sync. I always wanted to live in the UK and I’m so grateful I got to fulfil that dream but I’ve been craving my roots recently and a greater sense of belonging and direction. I wouldn’t say I’ve resolved this just yet but it’s a work in progress and that’s ok.
Growing up in a small town on Vancouver Island, there weren’t a lot of other children who were mixed-race. I remember being very aware from a young age that I passed as White and that gave me certain privileges. I didn’t get the stares that my Mom got when we were out grocery shopping and I always picked up on the glances her and my Aunty would get when they spoke in their native language. When classmates came over for birthday parties, they would always make remarks about my parent’s accents and the Filipino food that my Mom would cook. I would rarely mention or discuss my heritage at school. It’s a very different story these days as I couldn’t be prouder of my upbringing and cultural identity, but as a child all you want to do is fit in.
At the age of nine we moved to the Philippines. I spent over a decade living there, I would be a completely different person today if I hadn’t grown up in the Philippines. It was hard at first. When we first moved I didn’t speak the language yet and was bullied regularly at the first school I attended as I was the only ‘mestiza’. I do feel that experience helped shape who I am and made me a much more empathetic person. When you know what it feels like to be the outsider in the room, you become more mindful of others who are being excluded. My mom eventually found an international school which I transferred to and that was an amazing experience. I was suddenly no longer the only mixed-race student. I had classmates from all corners of the world who were also of mixed heritage and we were actively encouraged to celebrate our cultures and backgrounds.
Sign up to Patreon or Subscribe to our website to read more