South African (mixed heritage)
In South Africa the term ‘Coloured’ defines people of mixed ancestry.
Both parents had close family members that fought during the Apartheid years in South Africa, but had very different lives and lived experiences that influenced the families. This all contributed to the manner in which I was raised and contributed to my world view. Race has never been something that needed to be discussed in our family. My Mother always used to tell me I was a strong Black woman when I was growing up, but we also had things that were culturally Coloured (big gatherings, music, language). There are/were mixed-race/culture couples (some from during Apartheid that were exiled from South Africa. There are a lot more now). My family is extremely mixed, so there are multiple skin tones, multiple cultural influences.
In South Africa racism wasn't something that was pointed out to me. But it was always in my face, and as I grew up I saw race more and more. I think it took me moving out of South Africa to really see how mixed-race people are perceived. In South Africa, Coloured people are always told we aren't White enough or Black enough, while outside of South Africa most people want to know what you are mixed with. My go to response is ‘I'm mixed with melanin, honey, glitter and shea butter’.
Moving to the Netherlands, being so far away from South Africa was a struggle. The food is different, the culture and socialising is different, the manner in which we interact is different. It makes me extremely sad and homesick, but I started making friends with other people of colour and there are some overlaps in culture which helped.
Be true to yourself, claim the spaces you find yourself in and never let anyone undermine you as a person. Most people will undermine you because of their own bias and experiences, their issues and triggers are not your responsibility. Take the time to educate those that are clearly ignorant but don't argue with those that refuse to see a different perspective.
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