Singaporean | Swiss
My parents came to London in their teens and met at a party. They were not so forthcoming about mixing their cultures, I feel I might have learnt more about it later but my Mum died when I was 15. My Mother is my role model, she worked hard as a single Mother to raise three children and completed a degree whilst fighting breast cancer.
When I was very young, I was unaware of how people saw me, my parents never talked to me about being mixed-race. It invites a lot of questions and I felt very uncomfortable with the attention. My Mother looked very different from me and I really hated children making comments about us not being related. This is what has stuck with me most and still bothers me. At secondary school I felt very isolated and different from everyone else. I used to dye my hair lighter and use skin bleaching creams in an attempt to make myself look Whiter. I didn’t talk about my Singaporean heritage.
The older that I get I have more of an understanding of why this is hard for me and more of an understanding of the way people see me. I have tried to learn more about my Singaporean and Swiss heritage and I also I find a lot of comfort in talking to other mixed-race people about their experiences.
I have found setting boundaries to be very difficult, with friends, family and strangers. I am still learning to say when I feel uncomfortable. Being mixed-race invites a lot of questions and I find this very difficult. I think talking to other mixed-race people has helped me so much, and just hearing their stories. It’s really helped me get in touch with how I feel about my heritage.
Rituals as well are important to me, for example my parents used to give me a red envelope with money for Chinese New Year. These are things I hope to pass on to my family. I remember watching the dragon dance and going out for lunch with my family. We love Chinatown and used to go there a lot as children, it is still a really special place for me and my brothers.
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