Scottish | Sierra Leonean
I am a gay mixed-race woman. I didn’t come out as gay for a very long time because I thought I’d lose friends and be shunned. I wasn’t shunned and I’m much happier now. I would never hide a part of my identity now.
My Mother is from Scotland, my Father is from Sierra Leone. They met at a bar in Reading. It was difficult for my Mothers side of the family to accept a Black man, but I think my Dad thought he’d made it. I was brought up by my Grandmother who is a strong Scottish woman so I think I have more of an affinity with my White side but I always seek to learn more if I can about my West African heritage. I don’t speak to my Dad anymore so it can be hard.
My Grandmother is my role model. She is the strongest person I know, notwithstanding all the adversity she’s faced. She raised me from when I was a baby right through her retirement and that couldn’t have been without its challenges. She did it all without breaking a sweat and I have her to thank for everything.
It was definitely tough. Comments about me being too westernised and receiving micro aggressions. I had to work hard to prove myself. I’ve learnt from a very young age that I can’t fit in. These days I don’t want to and I find strength in that. There have been a few times where I’ve struggled to fit in culturally, but as the years have gone on I don’t think this is a bad thing. If anything it makes me a better person because I take the time to learn about other people's cultures. I’m quite outspoken and sometimes it has been to the detriment of others. But again, I draw strength from this. I speak up for others because it’s important to speak out when something is wrong.
Don’t try and conform too much. It’s a waste of time. You’ve got to seek self validation before you find yourself. Don’t seek it from others.
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