Scottish | Bangladeshi
I’ve always found it challenging when asked to identify myself. Identity to me is everchanging and boundless. My Mum was born in London and her side of my family originated in Scotland. My Dad is from Bangladesh, at the time the state was called East Pakistan; Bangladesh became independent in 1971. My Father’s Father was born in British-ruled India in the 1920’s, well before the partition of India in 1947. So, although generations on my Dad’s side of the family were born in the same geographical location, their nationalities varied over time, revealing the complex history of South Asia. Growing up, everything was normalised for my brother and me. We’d celebrate both Eid and Christmas. We’d spend some holidays with extended family in rural villages in Sylhet, surrounded by rice fields and other holidays with our Grandparents and cousins in the UK. Speaking to my Mum in more recent years, I realise that it’s no coincidence my brother and I have a circle of other mixed-race people around us. My parents understood the importance of normalising mixed families when I was growing up and how valuable it was to have friends who had similar experiences. I understand there were far fewer mixed couples when they met in the 1980s. When people ask me which ‘side’ I lean more towards or which ‘culture’ I connect more to, I struggle. I had experienced my upbringing as a ‘culture’ in its own right. It was just normal. Eating fish curry and rice with my hands one day and then a roast dinner with all the trimmings on another was normal. We’d go as a family to Bangladesh regularly when my brother and I were growing up. There is plenty of confusion when we walk around central Dhaka as a mixed family. But to be honest, the stares were just as common when I’d go shopping at the Halal butchers in East London with my Dad, so I was used to it. Having a sibling to share my experiences with has been extremely important. Until recently, we discussed our individual struggles with identity at all. I took comfort, albeit subconsciously, in knowing my brother was just like me.
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