Moroccan | Pakistani
I was born in America and moved to London at 15. My Mom still lives in America and I find that very challenging. Growing up post 9/11, there was a lot about my identity I felt I needed to over explain. I constantly had to explain what Ramadan was, including to nurses, teachers etc. I remember a school nurse asking if I was anorexic when I was fasting during Ramadan. That moment in Ms Marvel just really got to me. Never did I think as a kid that a modern TV show would just show that moment so casually. I immediately texted my Mom about it. Representation really does matter.
As both of my backgrounds are from marginalised groups, we all collectively share that experience. That being said, I do feel sometimes one side of the family didn't completely understand the other. Some of my Moroccan family's perceptions of South Asia did root in negative stereotypes but it was never severe. Additionally, there was a language barrier.
Racially ambiguous comes up and I can see why. It's not easy to place me. Sometimes I feel like an outsider no matter where I go. As I've gotten older and my Pakistani features became more prominent, I just find local Moroccan people staring at me like a puzzle. Like they can tell I'm Moroccan but there's also something else there they can't figure out. I should feel complete when I visit Morocco, but that is a reminder of how different I am. To be fair, I also don't speak Arabic so that adds to it. Being unique. I think this is a double edged sword. Sticking out in a crowd is nice sometimes and makes me memorable, but on the other hand it can lead to some interesting types of harassment. Quite a lot of my catcalling experiences can also be racialised.
I'm super proud of my background. I've always been proud, but @mixedracefaces make me feel more proud. A couple of my colleagues at @imperialcollege were featured on @mixedracefaces and it was great to learn more about them. I think on the upsides of social media, it's much easier to seek communities similar to your own. It's great seeing young South Asian people feel proud of their identities.
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