Indian | French
Growing up with my Mum’s strong identity meant that I very quickly developed an affinity for my Indian heritage too. Since my parents divorced early on in my childhood, I personally did not experience the discussions and decisions couples make when they are from different races and ethnicities. My Mum was keen to teach me Gujarati and I started learning and performing Indian dance styles at the age of 5. Growing up in the Wirral in the 1980’s meant that finding other Indians and community functions was hard but ironically, I had more meaningful involvement with the Indian community in Liverpool than I do now in London.
But sometimes keeping up traditions has been used as an excuse to beat others with a stick for electing a different path. Those who condone this feel that they are superior and defend their actions in the name of ‘retaining culture and values’, therefore feel justified to treat others like ‘traitors’ & second-class citizens. To me, if ‘marrying out’ means an exit to your cultural identity then it is unlikely to have been that strong in the first place. I don’t see a contradiction between having a mixed-race relationship AND being proud of your roots and culture. It can be easier to cast someone out as a rebel who does not know their roots, but that is not the case for most people who have had mixed marriages, and certainly wasn’t for my Mum.
I work as a media lawyer. Both sectors are not the most diverse but in all workplaces that I have been in they have recognised this and are trying wholeheartedly to do something. I feel there is a lot more ignorance about the mixed experience. This is especially true where your appearance is more racially ambiguous like mine. The downside to some of the diversity initiatives is that they want to put people back in boxes again and homogenise race, ethnicity, people and, as a consequence, their experience which is not possible nor desirable. The amount of times I have had to explain my identity as a basis for why I knew something or why my view on something cultural should be trusted-can be frustrating, so the education continues!
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