Indian | Dutch
Growing up I didn't really look ‘Indian’ nor ‘Dutch’. I grew up in a pretty diverse environment and city, with many people of different cultures and beliefs surrounding me at school. I have of course heard the usual 'where are you from' questions countless times. There have been times when I was really doubting what to 'identify' myself as, because I feel like I'm missing a part of me (culturally). Many people didn't understand what adoption was so I had to explain that to them.
Now that I'm a little older I feel more at peace to take the time to explain to people what my background is. At times growing up there were some places where I was one of the few (or the only) people of colour. It made me feel like I was missing 'something', something I still can't quite explain yet. What helped was talking with both my parents and friends from different backgrounds, they made me understand that I'm not the only one feeling this way sometimes.
My parents met while on a group tour to India. As my Mother is adopted, she has faced her own share of struggles growing up. After meeting my Father they together looked into finding out more about her heritage, so the experiences she told me have mainly been positive. Being born and raised in the Netherlands and having one parent that's adopted as well as having a Dutch first name, I naturally levitate towards the Dutch culture more. I try to 'balance' this by learning Hindi, one of the many languages of India, and visiting India when I am able to. I also try to partake in festivals, eat Indian food, talk to Indians, and learn about religion and religious customs.
The first time I went to India with my parents was an eye-opener for me! I loved the colours, the food, the language and the people. It felt like coming home, in a way. And everyone looked like my Mom and me! I've been back once since and I'm planning to go back soon. These journeys help me to have some peace with myself about my own identity. I don't have to wonder what my Mom's country is like, because I've seen a part of the country with my own eyes.
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