French | Sri Lankan
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD. Turns out, women of colour are often diagnosed much later in life. This is in huge part because of societal expectation and conditioning through that intersectional lens of race and gender; as well as cultural taboos around neurodivergence and mental health in our minoritised communities.
I've been learning a lot about myself, why my brain works the way it does, as well as looking into the intersectional reasons for that lack of diagnosis, understanding and support, for women of colour. Talking about how I do things with other people with ADHD helps a lot. Learning that there are very real tools, systems and habits that can help, has been really liberating. Dealing with anxiety and depression as symptoms of that diagnosis, rather than root issues, has also felt like I can take a deep breath and find my footing more steadily.
Language around race has and continues to evolve with the socially progressive times. I have friends who understandably dislike the term 'mixed-race', for example, and prefer 'multiracial' or 'dual-heritage'. I strongly believe in the good habit of asking people how they identify, in all different aspects of identity; and respecting their preferences, without causing harm to others.
Ethnically ambiguous' is a term that has recently been used to describe me, and I had quite a visceral reaction to it. I liken it to being called 'ethnically confusing'. Why does 'ethnically ambiguous' trigger me? It echoes the same parts of me that are hurt and other-ed by the questions: ‘what are you?’ and ‘No, but where are you *really* from?’. Why does one need to know where I am from? Why is there a need to put me in a box? To label me for their satisfaction? To assuage the problematic curiosity of placing me within a comfortable racial frame of reference? What is *even* a comfortable racial frame of reference??
For me, 'ethnically ambiguous' reinforces all of these binaries, frames and structures. It attempts to blur all narrow lines of the ever-evolving census boxes from those Used To Have Colonies Nations, feeling like a careless catch-all for the 'unknown'.
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