English/Irish | Grenadian
It’s taken me a long time to accept that it’s okay to identify as simply being mixed-race, as I’ve spent my whole life trying to answer questions from people about whether I feel ‘more Black’ or ‘more White’ and panicking about how to respond. I do refer to myself as a Black person, because I feel this is how I am seen by society and I think sometimes your self-identity can be a reflection of how others see you. But I think it’s also important for me to understand and recognise that whilst some of my experiences will be similar to that of a Black person, the colour of my skin also gives me a level of privilege that Black people don’t have access to.
My Mum was very young when she moved over here so much of her West Indian culture stemmed from older family members. As she got older she adopted a much more Western culture which evolved over time. I think it’s important to recognise that you can still maintain a strong identity without practising the specific cultures from where you come from on a regular basis. I think the expectation from others that you have to act in a certain way has contributed to me struggling with my own identity because I’ve been made to feel that I’m not ‘Black enough’ and have abandoned my culture in a way.
I think that being mixed-race forces you to view the world in a more tolerant way. Originating from a single race can make it easier for people to have a narrow view of how the world works and base their outlook on the history they have been taught (which as we know often leaves huge chunks of important global history out). For me, being mixed-race has made me inquisitive and driven me to research and read more about the history of the places I am from. I also think being mixed-race has given me a very low threshold for discriminatory behaviour. Too often people are excused for being racist because they are elderly, arguing that ‘it’s just the way things were back then’. My Grandparents were born in 1914 and 1930 and I never felt anything other than love from them.
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