English/Welsh | Indian
A couple of years ago, a care home manager asked me if I was half-caste. They themselves were of Asian heritage and I think in this context, I felt sad that this was a term people had internalized. I know in this context it was said with curiosity, however there have been occasions when it's been used in an intentionally derogatory way. Sometimes people I don't know would just ask 'Are you half?' or the classic 'What are you?' and it's generally people I don't know. Once I was in the library at uni at some silly hour and someone came up to me and said 'what are you mixed with?'. I think my response was 'stress and deadlines mate, what about you?'
I feel grateful now, for being who I am. I appreciate how family oriented the Asian side of my family is and feel this is something I will continue. I think something important to mention is that I acknowledge the relative privilege of appearing ambiguous. What I mean by this is sometimes it is hard to place where I am from, and with a Western first name, I think I avoid certain discrimination that others might face. This is something that I think about a lot.
My role model is my Grandma, although as I write this, I feel admiration for all the women in my family. My maternal Grandma was one of 7 daughters, raised in Nairobi and moved to Bradford with 2 young children and £50. She looked after me a lot. She was fiercely independent and taught herself so many things. She had a successful sewing machine business in the city. I've written a lot of poetry about her and if ever I am feeling unsure, I think 'What would Champa do?'.
I feel like all the women in my family are incredibly creative. My cousins are like my sister's and I really admire how they see the world and how kind and genuine they are. My Mum loves scuba diving, super cars and importantly breaking stereotypes! I also have a wonderful Stepmother and stepsisters who have always embraced me and encouraged me to aim high. I guess they're all role models and I wouldn't be who I am if it weren't for the guidance of all of them.
Sign up to Patreon or Subscribe to our website to read more stories