English/Welsh | Filipino
I identify as Filipino-English, Agnostic & Bisexual. My Mum is Filipino and grew up in Laguna, a province in the Northern Philippines. My Dad is English and Welsh and grew up in Slough, England. Being mixed-race can be incredibly confusing and difficult. I feel a lot of people who have a mixed identity could probably relate to the idea of not feeling ‘Asian enough’ or ‘White enough’. I think the largest problem I faced with being mixed-race is trying to deal with micro-aggression and not knowing how to deal with them since I have a mixed identity. By not being ‘really Asian’ this meant I was able to join into their social groups, and not ‘othered’ the same way ‘fully’ Asian students were. I’m so conscious now because of the guilt I feel about not expressing my Filipino heritage, I overcompensate now, taking any opportunity I can to talk about the fact I am Filipino. I have experienced casual racism at Oxford, but I don’t really find this surprising. Being a mixed race, Asian I am often fetishes or feel left out of conversations, and this is all racially motivated. These are the microaggressions that are most common at Oxford. I have received a couple of ‘your mum eats dogs’ jokes from English students and have been called a ‘dirty pacific islander’ from Asian students. But outright racism in Oxford is less common. At Oxford, I feel like I have to identify as either ‘White’ or ‘Asian’. I think maybe this is because I find it difficult to find any discourse in Oxford where there is anything relatable about being from a dual-heritage. I feel like I can opt into conversations that are more ‘White’ (like what festivals I’m going to). Then at other times where I can opt into conversations at are more ‘Asian’ like, laughing about content from ‘subtle Asian traits’. Oxford also does not have a large Filipino undergraduate population. As far as I’m aware, at the moment, there is just one other Filipino undergraduate at Oxford.
Want to read more? – Subscribe here #mixedracefaces