English/Trinidadian | English/Trinidadian
I was very proud of being mixed-race as a child and I still am, but I’m a lot less vocal about it now. My parents were always insistent that I should be proud of who I was and where I came from as a child, but it can be difficult to keep it up when you’re out in the world at large. I’m happy I’m mixed-race but it’s not always easy. This line of thinking might change in time but I’m not sure.
It can be difficult growing up mixed in the UK because the idea is that you are British/English first and then everything else afterwards but that’s not always how society feels. The curriculums at many schools are fairly ethnocentric (when I tried to start a Black history month event at my school, I was told by the headmaster that there ‘wouldn’t be enough interest’, yet we had an Irish night every month) and it can be hard to feel represented, both in school and outside in the workplace, on the tv, etc. That being said, I was very lucky to have my sister, who obviously understands what things are like. My family is definitely not boring and we always have great food so that is a positive.
I think people need to realise that the challenges for mixed people go as far as simple things in your day to day life. For example, I couldn’t buy basic hair products for my hair (shampoo, conditioner) in my home city until 2015. I would have to go with my Mum and sister to London (a two hour drive away) with a suitcase to get enough hair products to last us until the next time. But you’d never hear of someone with ‘normal’ hair not being able to buy their regular shampoo from the shop in their city, or not being able to find make up or flesh coloured tights in their skin shade. I also did not find a hairdresser who knew what to do with my hair until 2 years ago when I moved to the Netherlands.
I have finally accepted that I am not crazy for needing to go to therapy once a week. Therapy and mental health are very taboo topics in the Caribbean community which was something I internalised a lot as a kid, and coming to terms with the fact that I should probably be going to therapy was quite difficult.
Sign up to Patreon or Subscribe to our website to read more stories