English | Moroccan

My parents met when my Mum was on holiday in Morocco, my Dad worked in his family florist in the market in Tangier. He thought she was beautiful so gave her a free rose. When she had to go back to England they wrote letters for a year and met a couple times until he moved to England and they married. I know it sounds a bit cringe but they're happily together to this day so it clearly worked! 

I would say my Dad's culture was more prominent in my upbringing. I was brought up as Muslim and ate a lot of Moroccan food, however my Mum doesn't speak Arabic and so I spoke English growing up and went to an English school which meant I had a conflict when growing up that was sometimes challenging. I was pressured into being 'more British' at school, I was too young and insecure to stand up for myself and what I knew was right and so I was shamed into hiding, minimising my mixed heritage. However now it is one of my favourite things about myself, I am so proud of my heritage. It has opened my eyes to so many new ways of living and thinking which I couldn't imagine not having. I also feel a greater sense of community now and with my Moroccan identity than my British side, something I never imagined possible.

I’ve met so many people like me through Arabic arts groups I’m part of and it has been wonderfully uplifting. It has made me feel part of a community and so proud of my heritage. However, there are others who often assume I am fully English which makes me feel erased and like half of my identity has been ignored. I have experienced Islamophobia heavily growing up which made me hold a lot of shame within my identity, that I no longer feel now but still have to manage the side effects off. 

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