English | Malaysian Chinese
The problems caused by cultural differences have always been low on my priority list and have never impacted how I choose a partner, but now I am older I can see issues such as: unsupportive families, experiencing prejudiced, conflicts over parenting styles, clashes over fundamental beliefs or loss of identity can undermine a strong union. I am British and you could say I come from the same culture as my boyfriend but I was brought up in a strict Chinese household and in a different social class compared. One clear difference is different values over issues such as family.
I have never hidden my identity and many people assumed I was fully Asian. However if I didn’t look so Asian I think there would have been a chance I would have hidden my identity as I experienced racism. I often feel like we are the hidden minority. There is quite a big population in this country; however especially in the media I don’t feel like there is proportional representation. This is a problem I especially noticed as a kid where I was actively looking for people like me that I could assimilate and was not able to find anybody.
Racism is ingrained in British society and there isn’t a quick fix. We have to individually and collectively work to get rid of it. Sadly I doubt we will rid of racism in my lifetime so a lot needs to change. People of colour need to start telling their stories themselves. We might not be able to tackle racism by ourselves but we can all play a part. Challenging racism when you see it and reporting it helps to make other people see it's not okay.
I go back to Malaysia to see my family every other year but have always felt a divide due to differences in culture and language barriers. I often think it would have been mentally more healthy to be an Asian growing up in an Asian world so I could feel truly part of the collective. There’s been a big shift in my interests since I’ve started learning Chinese in my adult years. It has led me to naturally take more of an interest in Asia and more of an appreciation of the culture and my ancestry.
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