English/Irish | Iranian
I look very British, although when people know I have a Middle Eastern Father they start to find features in me that pass as Iranian. Growing up I don't think I acknowledged that I was of mixed heritage, again it felt the norm to have the combination of my Mum and Dad and to have my very different name. We even simplified my surname for primary and high school as not to cause ‘difficulty; throughout my childhood. It was only when I got to my mid-twenties that I felt this overwhelming feeling of wanting to connect with my Iranian side. I don't speak Farsi or look typically Iranian which makes me feel a bit of a fraud when trying to say I'm Iranian, so I have struggled with it a bit and find myself trying to justify WHY I am allowed to engage in Iranian culture. I am now proudly Iranian and find myself wanting to talk about this with people, seeking out Iranian events and of course attending the recent protests following the death of Mahsa Amini.
I felt more isolated when having to prove my Iranian-ness at the protests. I was thanked by a stranger for showing my support there and I felt my back go up immediately and a sudden need to explain my mixed background. I wanted to look more Iranian in that situation to show my solidarity with my Iranian people. I have also had the same situation when at a party with a group of Iranians. They insinuated my sister and I were ‘not Iranian enough’ because we did not speak the language and did not look ethnically Iranian. This upset me.
I suppose not being allowed to fly through America without an embassy meeting, simply because of my dual Iranian-British nationality was isolating. I was stuck in Colombia, unable to take my flight home, and I was upset. My British friends managed to get home and I did not. I ultimately bought another flight to avoid America but I was baffled that they would feel the need to ‘vet’ me and this hurt and angered me.
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