English | Goan (Indian)
My Mum is from North Yorkshire and my Dad was born in Kenya, grew up in Mumbai but is Goan. I find it quite fun to tell people that my Mum is White with Blue eyes and Blonde hair; the shock factor is great and I love that on paper you wouldn’t match me up with my parents, but in person I’m an exact combination of them. My Mum seems to think she’s a Goan; she has developed more of the Asian stereotypes than my Dad, demands we go to Goa every year and can cook delicious curries thanks to my Goan Grandma. On a serious level, the food is unbelievable and makes my mouth water just thinking about the spicy, vinegary, yumminess.
When I would describe myself as ‘English and Goan’, people often would say ‘so, you’re Indian’. Although I am half Indian in the broader scale, Goan’s have their own food, culture and language and although I embrace that Goa is a part of India, I love being specifically Goan. It is really difficult to explain Goa's history without people automatically deciding I'm Portuguese. The Portuguese ruled Goa for four and a half centuries and this has left it with a beautiful blend of cultures. However, the second I say that to someone who doesn't know much about India's history, they label me as Portuguese. Just because you might think I look Southern European that doesn't mean I am, Goan’s were there long before European invasions.
Identity can be a tricky thing. As an actor it’s very important to be self-aware and have a good understanding of yourself and how others perceive you. In the industry, people who look like me have been referred to as ‘ethnically ambiguous’ or ‘racially vague’, and it’s hard to know how to take that. Is that good because I can play lots of roles? Or is that bad because you don’t recognise my race as being relevant and convenient enough for this story? How much of a compliment is it to be told I don’t look like I’m from where I’m from? I have been told by fellow Indians that I am White and been brought to tears when being laughed at for disagreeing with this, however, I have often found myself being the ‘token’ in the work I’ve done.
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