Dutch | Zambian

My Mother is from the Netherlands and my biological Father is from Zambia. They met in Zambia but he left before I was born so I have never met him. As my Mother moved to Tanzania she met my present Father, who I grew up with, and he is from Peru. Both my parents lived in different countries in Africa such as Lesotho, Zambia and Tanzania before we all got together as one family and settled in Peru for twelve years. I was born in the Netherlands, lived my first three and a half years in Tanzania, then three years in the Netherlands. After this I moved to Peru for twelve years and am currently back in the Netherlands for nine and a half years now. When it comes to the native countries from my parents I am very well acquainted with both the Netherlands and Peru but have not yet visited or learned much about Zambia yet. It is my intention to meet my biological Father sometime soon in the future and also take the time to travel around Zambia to get to know the languages, culture and history. After this journey I hope to add another layer to my identity and adopt more wise and loving teachings. 

I believe language is one of my strongest gateways into human souls/mind and our social life at large. It has the power to create but also carries the danger of oppressing, blinding and silencing realities. I view it like this: focusing more on the intricacies of language teaches one a lot about what has been shaping a group’s reality such as race and culture. There was a lot more I experienced internally for which I could not verbalize or explain even to myself simply because I did not have the language to express it. This, in turn, taught me time and time again about the power of language.

If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would want to return the same way. I remember walking to my Mother with fear, pain and anger asking her, ‘why did you even have me?’ because I was so frustrated with the isolation I felt being the only dark child in a highly racially discriminatory environment. My Mother beautifully replied ‘because I needed you’. 

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