British | Filipino
I’m Filipino-White British, and I’m also autistic. My Mother came from the Philippines and my Dad was born and brought up in England. I love my family and the community I was brought up in. I’ve always felt welcomed by Filipino family and friends. There are ingrained values around making sure you are as friendly and hospitable to people as possible. Considering I grew up in Thatcher’s Britain, when selfish individualism and greed were promoted, I look back at my childhood and think of how lucky I was to have been a part of another culture which prized community, acceptance, and responsibility to others above all else. I’ve dealt with many challenges, usually from ignorance. At primary school, my teachers told my parents I needed to stop speaking Tagalog (Filipino language) at home as I was ‘confusing’ my classmates when I occasionally said some Filipino words. The teachers also insisted it would ruin my English skills, and Mum was worried about my education. So, I lost my bilingualism and a connection to one culture. I began to associate anything Filipino with ‘not fitting in’. It took years to undo the harm the school system inflicted. Being White-passing, I’ve often had my ‘reveal’ of mixed heritage be treated with surprise, suspicion, disbelief and sometimes hostility. Luckily, I’ve never dealt with anyone being outright aggressive, but I’ve still had some unpleasant reactions. The really disheartening ones are when people don’t even realise they’re being racist. When I was a teenager, a friend’s parent thought it would be fun to ‘guess’ my ethnicity (this was after she used a racial slur to describe my mixed-race heritage). When I wearily but politely said my Mum was from the Philippines, my friend’s Mother said, ‘Oh I was close, they’re similar, aren’t they?!’. I don’t think she appreciated my annoyed reply of ‘They’re on a totally different continent, so no, not really’.
Want to read more? - Subscribe here #mixedracefaces