British | Barbadian/Guyanese
My Mother is White British and My Father is Black British, with parents who came from Barbados and Guyana. Even as a child I quickly realised that I didn’t visually look the same as other children around me or even my siblings. Not quite light enough or not quite dark enough. I ultimately just put it down to, ‘Well this is just what colour Nathan is I guess’. I had a fantastic childhood but growing up mixed-race was confusing at times. I didn’t have a relationship with my Father so I therefore had no information or references. I was raised in a White household with typical British values by my Mother. I’ve been really fortunate in that I’ve experienced little to no negativity from other people surrounding my mixed-raciness; if anything it’s only ever been celebrated or welcomed. People have sometimes mistakenly labelled me as just ‘Black’ which I’ve never really understood. I’m incredibly proud to have a duel heritage and such a diverse culture, so the idea of somebody ignoring a part of my identity or trying to push me more to one side can be frustrating. Any challenges I’ve experienced have only really ever been with myself. Mentally and emotionally, trying to piece parts of a jigsaw puzzle that is my identity. Because I didn’t have a relationship with my Father there was a void when it came to my identity on my Black side. As a child I would find myself actively trying to find people of colour in books or on television so that I could try to figure out exactly who I may be or If there were other people out there that looked like me. Now I have a relationship with my Father and everything feels complete. There’s definitely a privilege that comes with being mixed-race in society which has meant that I haven’t had to face the hardships that affect Black people within our community. I guess because of who I am, I often see the world differently to those who maybe just have one culture or identity. I’m incredibly proud of who I am and what I have achieved so far so if I was to be born again I would return exactly how I am (maybe just a little bit taller).
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